Scene: A small, shrinking island in the middle of a vast ocean. The group of climate change deniers, armed with banners reading “TIDES ARE A NATURAL PHENOMENON!” and “CLIMATE HOAX EXPOSED,” are gathered around a campfire. The waterline creeps closer with every passing minute, but they remain steadfast, chanting slogans and toasting marshmallows.
Leader of the Group (Larry):
"Now, folks, I don’t want to alarm anyone, but the so-called ‘rising sea levels’ are just a conspiracy by Big Science to sell inflatable rafts!"
Martha (waving her soggy sign):
"Exactly! The tide’s just doing what it’s always done—going out, then coming back in. It’s called nature, people!"
The tide advances further, water now lapping at their campfire, which fizzles and hisses.
Ted (ankle-deep in water, holding a soggy hot dog):
"Yeah! This is nothing unusual. Why, back in my day, we’d wade through floods to school every day. Never blamed it on no ‘carbon dioxide.’"
Larry (standing on a crate to stay dry):
"Stay calm, comrades! This is exactly what they want—panic! Look at this beautiful island. Does it look like it’s disappearing?"
Martha (climbing onto a chair as the water reaches her knees):
"It’s just a little damp. Happens all the time during... er, rainy seasons. The ocean is naturally dynamic."
A wave splashes over the crate, soaking Larry’s shoes.
Larry (losing his footing):
"Alright, maybe we should... relocate to higher ground. Ted, where’s that other island you mentioned?"
Ted (looking around):
"Well, uh, I thought I saw one... over there? Or was it just a big wave?"
The water now covers the chairs, leaving only their heads visible as they tread water stubbornly.
Martha (still clutching her sign):
"Everyone knows islands move! It’s just tectonic plates doing their thing. Nothing to do with ‘melting ice caps’ or ‘global temperatures.’ Lies, all lies!"
Larry (blowing water out of his mouth):
"Right you are! This is just... temporary flooding! We’ll be back on dry land in no time!"
As the group is finally submerged, their banners float forlornly on the surface, reading “CLIMATE HOAX!” and “IT’S JUST WEATHER!”
Cut to:
A passing sea turtle, who shakes its head and swims off, muttering, “They’ll never learn.”
