Title: "The Final Chapter: Musk Unveils Phase 4"
Scene: The Oval Office has been completely revamped. Musk insisted on replacing all furniture with minimalist, angular designs made of carbon fibre. Holograms float in the air, displaying indecipherable equations and futuristic blueprints. Trump sits on his gold throne, the only object untouched by Musk’s "optimisation." Musk stands beside a new hologram labelled "Phase 4: The Final Upgrade."
Trump (grinning as he slurps a Diet Coke):
Phase 4, huh? Sounds big, sounds important. Is it the biggest phase? The best phase? Because I like the best. People say I’m the best at phases.
Musk (nodding, his eyes gleaming):
Mr. President, Phase 4 is... everything. It’s the culmination of logic, efficiency, and perfection. It’s the dawn of a new era.
Trump (leaning forward):
A new era? Love it. Tremendous idea. But let’s keep the old Diet Coke, okay? Some things don’t need improving.
Musk (gesturing to the hologram):
Of course. Phase 4 will see the final upgrade of humanity itself. We’ll merge with machines, eliminating all biological weaknesses. No more disease, no more ageing, no more inefficiency.
Trump (narrowing his eyes):
Merge? Like... me, with machines? Because, Elon, I have to tell you, I’m already perfect. People say I’m the healthiest president ever. The best genes. Everyone knows it.
Musk (quickly):
Naturally, Mr. President. You’ll lead the way, becoming the ultimate hybrid—Trump 2.0.
Trump (grinning):
Trump 2.0? Sounds like a sequel. People love sequels. The Apprentice: Season 2 was huge. Tell me more.
Musk clicks a button, and the hologram shifts to show a towering golden statue of Trump, surrounded by robotic citizens bowing in unison.
Musk:
Your consciousness will be uploaded into the Supreme Trump Neural Hub. You’ll exist forever as the ultimate decision-maker. Your thoughts will guide every action in the optimised world.
Trump (beaming):
Forever? Tremendous. I always said I’m going to live forever. But what about rallies? People need to see me. They love seeing me.
Musk (smirking):
Holographic Trump avatars will appear in every home, every city, every optimised zone. No one will ever go a moment without your presence.
Trump (nodding):
Perfect. I’m like Santa Claus but better. And younger. And gold.
The hologram now displays a vast fleet of hovering drones, each bearing Trump’s face on its front panel. They patrol an eerily perfect city where identical citizens march in synchrony.
Trump (frowning slightly):
Wait. What’s with all the marching? Looks a little... I don’t know... military? We’re not going full dictator, right? Because I’m all about freedom.
Musk (calmly):
Of course, Mr. President. Freedom is optimised through discipline. Once everyone follows the same rules, no one feels restricted.
Trump (relaxing):
Ah, discipline. Like my golf swing. Makes sense.
Musk clicks again, and the hologram shifts to show a massive machine with glowing circuits. At its core is a golden orb labelled “Trump Prime Consciousness.”
Musk:
Phase 4 also involves consolidating all human decision-making into a single point: you. Every choice made, every action taken will align with your flawless vision.
Trump (grinning wider):
Every choice? Tremendous. That’s what people want. They want me making the calls. I’ve always been a great decision-maker.
There’s a faint hum as a section of the wall slides open, revealing a sleek capsule with a glowing interior.
Musk (gesturing dramatically):
All that’s left is for you to step into the Neural Integration Pod. The process is painless. Mostly.
Trump (pausing):
Painless? Mostly? Elon, I don’t do pain. I’m not a pain guy. Can we skip that part?
Musk (reassuringly):
The discomfort is... minimal. And once the process is complete, you’ll ascend to a higher plane of existence. Trump Eternal.
Trump (considering):
Higher plane, huh? Like a penthouse? Because I love penthouses.
Musk (nodding):
Exactly, Mr. President. The penthouse of consciousness.
Trump stands, straightening his tie, and strides toward the capsule. He hesitates just before stepping inside.
Trump:
Wait. One more thing. Can we make sure the Neural Hub tweets? I’ve got to keep my followers updated.
Musk (smiling):
Of course. The Trump Neural Hub will be the most followed entity in existence.
Trump (grinning):
Tremendous. Let’s do it.
As Trump steps into the pod, the capsule hisses shut. Lights flash, and the room hums with energy. The hologram now shows a pulsating golden orb, radiating energy across the world.
Musk (whispering to himself):
And so, the optimisation is complete.
The hologram flickers briefly, showing a cryptic message: “Phase 5: Universal Expansion – Initialising…” Musk’s smile widens as the screen fades to black.
