Trump’s Origin of Species 2.0:
The book begins with Trump on the cover, holding a golden magnifying glass over a giant T-Rex skeleton emblazoned with “TRUMPASAURUS: The King of Dinosaurs.” The subtitle reads: How the Best Genes Built the Universe, Huge Success Edition.
Key Highlights:
- “The Art of Adaptation”Trump describes evolution as “just like a business merger, but for animals,” claiming that “the weaker creatures were taken over—hostile takeovers, like I would do. Tremendous strategy.”
- “Survival of the Richest”A chapter arguing that the dinosaurs didn’t go extinct but “evolved into modern tycoons,” with an illustration of a velociraptor wearing a gold tie and signing checks.
- “Darwin Was Good, But I’m Better”Trump reimagines Darwin’s finches as part of his personal brand. “Finches, folks, they were the original Trump jets of the bird world. Beautiful designs, different beaks for different tasks—total winners!”
- “Mutation is a Scam”Trump controversially claims, “Mutations are fake news. The best species just work harder. Evolution didn’t need accidents—it needed effort, like building the Trump Tower of ecosystems.”
- “Origin of MAGA Mammoths”Trump insists he’s descended from mammoths because of his “tremendous strength and resilience.” Includes plans for cloning mammoths as mascots for future campaigns.
- Illustrations by Donald Jr.A visual journey where ancient creatures inexplicably evolve into products: trilobites become Trump cufflinks, ammonites turn into MAGA brooches.
- Golden Rule of Evolution“If you’re the best, you survive. If you’re not the best, too bad, you’re extinct. I call it natural success selection.”
In a final flourish, Trump signs off by announcing plans for The Second Creation: "God did it once, but I’m thinking we could do it again. Bigger. Better. More gold. Huge."
