Make China Great Again
Scene: Inside Trump Tower, Trump is standing in front of a giant screen showing a map of China. He is surrounded by his loyal advisors, including Elon Musk, who is furiously typing on his phone. Trump points to the map with a dramatic flourish.
Trump:
(grinning)
“Alright, everybody, we’ve made America great, we’ve made Russia great, and now... it’s time to make China great again. It’s going to be huge. Bigger than anyone ever thought possible.”
Advisor 1:
(excitedly)
“China? That’s... ambitious, sir. Very ambitious.”
Trump:
(nodding)
“I know. But we’re talking about the biggest country in the world. Over a billion people. A massive market. And guess what? They already love me. They love me so much, it’s unbelievable.”
Elon:
(chiming in with unnecessary enthusiasm)
“Absolutely, sir! You’re huge in China! I mean, really big there.”
Trump:
(gesturing with his hands)
“That’s right, Elon. And now we’re going to take it to the next level. We’re going to show China how to be even greater. Believe me, I know China. I know the best way to get things done. This will be huge for them.”
Trump walks over to a large golden binder, slapping it on the table with a flourish. It’s labeled “MAKE CHINA GREAT AGAIN: THE PLAN.”
Trump:
(pulling out documents)
“Step one: We’re going to rename China. Too simple. Too boring. We’re going with Trumpistan. The greatest name. It’ll sound powerful. It’ll sound huge.”
Advisor 2:
(uncertain)
“Trumpistan? Doesn’t that sound a little... uh... over the top?”
Trump:
(waving it off)
“Over the top is what China needs! We’re going to make everything bigger, better, stronger. We’ll have Trumpistan Towers in every city. It’ll be the tallest building on earth. Even taller than the Burj Khalifa.”
Elon:
(enthusiastically)
“Tallest building on earth, sir. Absolutely! And we could build a Tesla factory there too, right? Imagine—Tesla's in China.”
Trump:
(nods with approval)
“Exactly, Elon. And we’ll build a Trump golf course in the middle of the Great Wall. They’ll be golfing on history, folks. The best golfers. Only the best. People will be lining up just to play.”
Advisor 3:
(skeptical)
“Uh, sir, do you think the Chinese are really into golf? I mean, it’s not really... their thing?”
Trump:
(sharply)
“They’ll be into golf when I’m done with them! Trust me, it’s all about branding. We’ll call it ‘The Wall of Golf,’ and they’ll love it.”
Elon, meanwhile, is busy texting someone on his phone, his mind clearly elsewhere.
Elon:
(under his breath)
“What if we... colonize the moon next?”
Trump:
(hearing him)
“What was that, Elon? Are we talking about the moon? Because, let me tell you, we’re going to make that great too.”
Trump paces in front of the room, making sweeping gestures as if he’s addressing a stadium full of people.
Trump:
“And here’s the biggest idea yet: Trump will host The Apprentice: China Edition. But this time, folks, the contestants will be running entire cities. That’s right, cities. It’ll be epic.”
Elon:
(still distracted, muttering)
“Cities? Yeah, I’ll start a competition to make the most advanced city... on Mars.”
Trump pauses, staring at Elon with a mixture of suspicion and amusement.
Trump:
(eyeing Elon)
“Mars? Elon, we’re talking about China, the biggest country in the world. What are you talking about, Mars? Focus!”
Elon:
(quickly recovering)
“Oh, right. China. Yes, China. Big. Huge. Sorry, sir, what were you saying about the cities?”
Trump, now fully energized by his own ideas, pulls out another huge map of China and points to the coast.
Trump:
“We’re going to build a Trump Island right here, in the South China Sea. It’ll be the most luxurious, exclusive island. People will come from all over the world just to vacation there. It’ll be the most expensive island. Trust me, folks. The best island. The biggest island.”
Advisor 1:
(impressed)
“An island? Right in the South China Sea?”
Trump:
(patting the map)
“That’s right. Trump Island. I’ve already got the designs for the most amazing resort. You won’t believe it. It’ll have a Trump Tower, a Trump casino, a Trump spa—everything Trump. And of course, Trump-themed golf.”
Elon:
(nodding, now completely on board)
“Great idea, sir. We could put a SpaceX launch pad there as well. You know, for the next big leap in space tourism.”
Trump:
(raising an eyebrow)
“You’re getting the hang of this, Elon. I like it.”
The room nods in agreement, even if they’re not entirely sure how Trumpistan or a giant resort island in the South China Sea is going to work. But one thing is clear: Trump’s going to make China great again, and it’s going to be as huge as everything else he does.
Trump:
(satisfied, leaning back in his chair)
“Make China Great Again. It’s going to be unbelievable. People are going to love what I do. They’ll talk about it for years.”
As the advisors mutter in agreement, Elon Musk begins looking at blueprints for Mars once more, already planning his next big move...
