Scene:
The sterile walls of the Dalek-run prison hum with an unsettling buzz. In a plain, white therapy room, Ronald McDonald sits slouched in an overstuffed armchair, his face shadowed, the usual bright red of his wig now more disheveled. His posture is relaxed, but his eyes gleam with quiet malice, a razor-sharp intelligence hidden beneath the surface. He folds his hands in his lap, almost too deliberately, as he waits for his therapist to speak.
Opposite him sits Zane, the woke hipster psychotherapist, who adjusts his thick-framed glasses and scribbles notes on a clipboard. Zane is so wrapped up in his own ideas, he doesn’t notice the danger staring him in the face.
Zane: (cheerily)
“So, Ronald, I’m really glad you’re here today. You know, addressing your deep-rooted issues with capitalism is the first step toward healing. But let’s start simple. Tell me—how does the idea of decolonizing your clown persona resonate with you?”
Ronald McDonald: (his voice slow, dripping with mock sincerity)
“Decolonizing... my clown persona. Yeah. I like the sound of that.” (A dark chuckle rumbles in his throat.) “I mean, who wouldn’t want to strip down the exploitation of... well, me? The red nose, the big shoes. I’ve always felt like a symbol of oppression. Just like those poor, oppressed chickens I used to sell. What a burden, right?” (He pauses, letting the words hang in the air.) “But hey, if decolonizing means destroying the whole thing, I’m all for it. You know, burning it all down.” (His grin widens, eyes cold.)
Zane: (beaming, unaware of the sarcasm)
“Exactly! You get it! You’ve been exploited by this capitalist clown persona. But it’s not your fault, Ronald. It’s about unpacking that internalized oppression, and... well, finding your true self underneath it all.” (Zane nods vigorously, clearly proud of himself.)
Ronald McDonald: (sardonically)
“My true self, huh? Yeah, I’ve been thinking a lot about that. You know, I’ve always felt like I was just a tool for something much bigger. An innocent pawn in the grand game. Or maybe...” (He leans forward slightly, eyes narrowing.) “...maybe I was the one pulling the strings the whole time. Who knows? Maybe I’ve been in control all along, and you’ve all just been playing right into my hands.” (His grin is dark, like a wolf toying with its prey.)
Zane: (completely oblivious, scribbling more notes)
“Right! Right! You’ve been trapped in the system of capitalism, but now we can reclaim your power. We can work through all of this, Ronald. I mean, you are the hero of your own narrative, aren’t you? The true victim of the system...”
Ronald McDonald: (cutting in, voice smooth and mocking)
“Hero of my own narrative? Oh, Zane. That’s rich. A hero, huh?” (He lets out a soft, cruel laugh.) “Well, in that case, you might want to reconsider who’s really in charge of this little adventure. Heroes need audiences, don’t they?” (His gaze sharpens, as if calculating something far beyond the therapy session.) “Sometimes, it’s the audience who’s the real puppet. And they never see it coming.”
Zane: (nodding earnestly)
“Absolutely! It’s all about empowerment! Reclaiming your agency and rewriting your story. You can be anything you want, Ronald, even if it’s just an innocent clown who was misunderstood by the system. Do you feel that?”
Ronald McDonald: (leaning back in his chair, his voice a cold whisper)
“Oh, I feel it, alright. I feel every little piece of this charade. You think you’re helping me, Zane? Maybe you are. Maybe I need you to think that.” (His smile widens again, the sarcasm dripping off each word.) “It’s like a... little game. The best part is, you think I’m the one who’s broken. But you’re the one trapped in your own delusions. Your little world of woke, safe spaces... so cozy, so convenient.”
(He leans forward again, eyes glinting with menace.)
Ronald McDonald: “But you want to know something, Zane?” (His voice grows more quiet, more dangerous.) “I’m not the one who’s really stuck in the system. You are. You’re the one fixated on the outside, trying to untangle everything. Meanwhile, I’m already thinking three steps ahead. I’m the one who knows what happens when you unleash chaos.”
Zane: (grinning, completely missing the warning)
“Chaos! Yes! I knew you’d understand! Disrupting power dynamics is key! We need to break down the old systems, the patriarchal structures. You’re ready for the revolution, Ronald. I can feel it.”
Ronald McDonald: (eyes narrowing, his voice dripping with malice)
“Revolution? Oh, Zane, you have no idea. You think I’m going to be some puppet in your little revolution?” (He leans in closer, his voice dropping even lower.) “No, Zane. I’m not here for a revolution. I’m here to control it. To make sure it goes exactly the way I want it.” (He smiles coldly.) “Revolutions have a funny way of giving people exactly what they don’t want.”
Zane: (laughing, clearly proud of their progress)
“Exactly, Ronald! Exactly! You’re seeing it now, right? It’s all about shifting those narratives, about breaking free. We’ve got to liberate ourselves, all of us!”
Ronald McDonald: (with a dark chuckle)
“Liberation, huh? Well, Zane, maybe I’ll liberate you from that little clipboard of yours one of these days. But until then, I think we’re done here. I’ve got some thinking to do.” (His smile is sharp, cruel.) “After all, there’s always room for more... chaos.”
(The camera lingers on Ronald’s face as Zane blabs on about self-actualisation, completely oblivious to the evil simmering beneath the surface. Ronald's fingers twitch as his mind spins with plans for escape, for vengeance, for the return of the clown.)
