Title: "Phase 8: The Bigly Bang"
Scene: Elon Musk’s escape pod drifts through the multiverse, battered and scarred. Inside, Musk sits wide-eyed, clutching the pod’s controls as Trump’s holographic face looms over him.
Trump Hologram:
Elon! Fantastic job with Phase 7. Best explosion I’ve ever seen—huge! But we’re not done yet. We’ve got Phase 8, and it’s going to be... tremendous.
Musk:
Phase 8? There is no Phase 8! You said Phase 7 was the final plan!
Trump Hologram:
Fake news, Elon. There’s always a bigger plan. We’re calling it The Bigly Bang. It’s genius—my idea, of course. We’re going to... wait for it... restart the multiverse in my image.
Musk:
Restart the... What does that even mean?!
Trump Hologram:
Simple. Boom! Everything goes back to zero, but better—Trumpified. I’ll be the Alpha and the Omega. All dimensions, all timelines, all alternate universes... Trump. Forever. No clowns, no chaos, just me. The best multiverse ever.
Musk stares at the controls, horrified as the hologram flickers and reveals a massive golden device embedded in the escape pod. It pulses with ominous energy, labelled in neon letters: BIGLY BANG: INFINITE REBRAND INITIATOR.
Musk:
This... this is madness! If you restart the multiverse, there’s no guarantee you’ll even survive!
Trump Hologram:
I’m a survivor, Elon. Everyone knows that. And trust me, when the dust settles, it’ll be all gold buildings, Trump steaks, and beautiful golf courses. People will love it.
Musk:
You’ll wipe out everything! Civilisation, life as we know it—gone!
Trump Hologram:
Details, details. What’s civilisation done for me lately, anyway? Besides, they’ll thank me later. I’m a hero, Elon. A saviour.
Suddenly, an alarm blares. The Clowniverse forces have tracked the escape pod. Ronald McDonald Prime appears as a hologram, his scepter glowing with multiversal energy.
Ronald McDonald Prime:
Elon Musk. You’re carrying the most dangerous weapon in existence. Stand down and surrender, or face the full power of the Clowniverse.
Trump Hologram:
Oh, look, it’s Bozo. You’re out of your league, Ronald. This is a Trump operation now.
Ronald McDonald Prime:
You can’t out-clown me, Donald. Give it up.
Trump Hologram:
Wrong. I’ve already won. Watch this!
Trump’s hologram activates the Bigly Bang device. The pod begins to glow, energy radiating outward. Dimensions around them start collapsing into a singularity of gold glitter and garish neon signs.
Musk:
You’re insane! We’re all going to—
Ronald McDonald Prime:
Not on my watch.
Ronald waves his scepter, creating a swirling vortex of laughter, chaos, and rubber chickens. The Bigly Bang device sputters, caught between its destructive programming and the overwhelming absurdity of the Clowniverse’s power.
Trump Hologram:
What’s happening?! This was foolproof!
Ronald McDonald Prime:
Donald, you can’t overwrite the multiverse. It’s too ridiculous, even for you.
Musk:
Finally, someone who gets it.
Ronald McDonald Prime:
Oh, don’t get me wrong, Elon. You’re still complicit. But at least you’re not trying to replace reality with Trump-branded space hotels.
With one final wave of his scepter, Ronald transforms the Bigly Bang device into a harmless whoopee cushion. The pod stabilises, and the dimensions around them are restored to their chaotic, absurd state.
Trump Hologram:
I don’t lose! I NEVER LOSE!
Ronald McDonald Prime:
Oh, you’ve lost, Donald. But hey, here’s a consolation prize.
Ronald snaps his fingers. The hologram glitches, and Trump’s voice is replaced by endless loops of clown honking.
The pod drifts away, Musk slumped in his chair, defeated.
Musk:
I’m never teaming up with anyone ever again.
Final scene: Ronald McDonald Prime watches the pod vanish, then turns to his clown army.
Ronald McDonald Prime:
The multiverse is safe... for now. But let’s keep an eye on them. You never know what kind of nonsense they’ll try next.
Cue triumphant carnival music as the clowns cheer, and the screen fades to black.
Text on screen:
“THE ABSURDITY NEVER ENDS.”
Credits roll.
