"The Apex Predators' Roundtable" by ChatGPT

Scene: A dimly lit conference room in an undisclosed location, complete with a long mahogany table, gold-plated chairs, and a conspicuous portrait of the Crypto-Fascist (smiling grimly) hanging on the wall. Snacks include stale crackers and caviar, because luxury is mandatory, even if it's miserable. The four characters sit around the table, each eyeing the others with suspicion but also smug self-assurance.

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Crypto-Fascist:

"Gentlemen, we are here to discuss the future of humanity. Obviously, order and structure are paramount to success, and I have a vision—a society where everyone knows their place."

Donald Trump:

"Tremendous idea, really. But let me tell you, I’m already way ahead of you. People love me, okay? I’ve got crowds that go on forever. Big crowds, the best crowds. I don’t need a vision—I am the vision."

Sociopath (leaning back in his chair, smirking):

"Sure, Trump, and I bet your crowds would throw you under the bus the second someone offered them free Wi-Fi. I prefer something a little more... direct. No crowds, no theatrics. You want loyalty? You buy it. People are just tools—like hammers. And if they break? Replace 'em."

Psychopath (cheerfully cutting in):

"Oh, absolutely! Tools! Disposable! You’re speaking my language, friend. But personally, I like to see how far I can push people before they snap. It’s like a game! You never know when someone's going to lose it and try to throttle you. Keeps life exciting!"

Crypto-Fascist (raising a hand to silence the group):

"Enough! Tools, crowds, throttling—none of that matters if we don’t establish a rigid hierarchy! It’s about the system, the rules, the framework! Without that, we’re no better than anarchists! And anarchists are—"

Donald Trump (interrupting, waving dismissively):

"Losers. Total losers. Believe me, I’ve met anarchists. Bad hygiene, terrible people. Not like me—I’ve got perfect hygiene. Ask anyone. Ask the FDA. They’ll tell you."

Psychopath (snickering):

"You’re all so serious. Rules, systems, visions—ugh, boring. Me? I just want to see what happens when you take all the rules away. Let chaos run wild. You’d be surprised how much fun people can have when they’ve got nothing to lose."

Sociopath (rolling his eyes):

"Chaos is overrated. Predictability wins every time. You know what’s really satisfying? Setting people up to fail. You make them think they’ve got control, then... boom. Pull the rug out from under them. Watch 'em squirm. It’s like chess, but with more suffering."

Donald Trump (looking genuinely impressed):

"That’s not bad. I do that all the time. It’s called ‘firing people.’ I did it on TV, I did it in the White House, and I did it at my golf courses. People love it. They say, ‘Mr. Trump, you’re the best at making people squirm.’ And I say, ‘I know.’"

Crypto-Fascist (rubbing his temples, visibly frustrated):

"You’re all missing the point! Control isn’t about making people squirm, or firing them, or chaos! It’s about absolute obedience. No questions, no rebellion, no individuality. It’s about crafting the perfect society."

Sociopath (raising an eyebrow):

"Perfect society? Sounds like a lot of work. Why bother when you can just manipulate the existing one? Less effort, same results."

Psychopath (grinning):

"Or better yet, just blow it up and start over! I mean, who doesn’t love a fresh canvas? Think of the possibilities!"

Donald Trump (nodding enthusiastically):

"Fresh canvas, I like that. Very artistic. You know, a lot of people don’t know this, but I’m very artistic. I’ve made beautiful deals. People call them masterpieces. Really, the Sistine Chapel of deals."

Crypto-Fascist (slamming his fist on the table):

"This is not about art, or deals, or... whatever it is you’re all talking about! This is about discipline! Imagine a world where every person wakes up at 6:00 a.m., salutes the flag, and follows their pre-assigned duties without question. That is progress!"

Psychopath (snorting):

"Sounds like a snooze fest. Where’s the fun in that? No rebellion, no riots, no chaos? What’s the point of even living in your world?"

Donald Trump (leaning forward, smugly):

"Listen, I could make your world happen in, like, a week. Maybe less. People would follow me—millions of people. They’d love it. They’d salute my flag. You know, a Trump flag. It’d be gold. Very classy."

Crypto-Fascist (glaring at Trump):

"A gold flag?! That’s an abomination! Flags are meant to inspire fear and respect, not look like they belong in a casino!"

Sociopath (laughing quietly):

"You’re all amateurs. Fear, chaos, gold flags—it’s all window dressing. The real power is in pulling strings from the shadows. Let people think they’re free while you hold the leash."

Psychopath (grinning):

"Ooh, I like that! But why stop there? Let’s add shock collars to the leash. Really spice things up!"

Donald Trump (interrupting):

"Shock collars? No, no, bad branding. You call them ‘freedom necklaces.’ People will love it. Trust me, I’m a branding genius."

Crypto-Fascist (standing up, shouting):

"Enough! This meeting is over! I will not have my vision corrupted by your nonsense! When my society is built, none of you will have a place in it!"

Psychopath (grinning wider):

"None of us? But who’s going to keep you... entertained?"

Sociopath (leaning back, smirking):

"Yeah, and who’s going to teach your perfect little drones how to follow orders without thinking too much? You’ll need someone like me, trust me."

Donald Trump (pointing at Crypto-Fascist):

"And who’s going to design the flag? Because, let me tell you, without my help, your flag’s going to be a disaster. Believe me."

Crypto-Fascist (storming out, muttering):

"Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots."

Psychopath (watching him go, chuckling):

"Oh, he’s going to snap one day. I can’t wait."

Frank and the Crypto-Fascist’s “Debate” by ChatGPT

Title: Frank and the Crypto-Fascist’s “Debate”

Scene: A dusty, rundown diner at the edge of town. Frank is sitting at a booth, eating his usual plate of fries. Enter the Crypto-Fascist, wearing a poorly tailored suit and carrying a stack of pamphlets with slogans like "Restoring Order to Society" and "Make Society Great Again." He sits down across from Frank, who doesn’t look up from his meal.

Crypto-Fascist (slamming his pamphlets on the table, eyes gleaming with a fervour): "Frank, you know what this country needs? A little order, a little discipline, a return to traditional values. The whole system’s corrupt, but we’ve got the power to fix it. We just need people like you—people who are ready to stand up and take charge."

Frank (barely looking up, taking a slow bite of fries): "Oh, yeah? What’s your plan, then? Gonna paint all the walls white and start yelling at people who aren’t properly conforming? Maybe put all the dissidents in the basement and play some Wagner? That usually does the trick, right?"

Crypto-Fascist (grinning broadly): "Exactly! You see the vision, Frank! We need a strong, unified society, free of the chaos that modern liberalism has caused. We need to purge the weak, eliminate the distractions, and restore a sense of order to our world. What do you say, Frank? You in?"

Frank (leaning back in his seat, sipping his drink): "Let me get this straight—your big plan to ‘restore order’ is to make everything exactly like the worst part of 1950s TV? Yeah, that’ll go over well. All you need is a giant flag, a brass band, and a nice, big, comfy chair to sit in while you tell everyone what to do."

Crypto-Fascist (clearly not picking up on Frank’s sarcasm, nodding fervently): "Exactly! You understand! We’re gonna take this country back from the chaos and put things right again. Think of the stability, the unity, the power!"

Frank (pausing for dramatic effect, then taking another slow bite): "Power, huh? Yeah, 'cause nothing says stability like a bunch of guys in suits marching around and shouting slogans. It’s not like you’re asking people to pick up a broom and actually do something, are you? Nah, better to just talk about how you’re going to clean up society while everyone else cleans up the mess you make."

Crypto-Fascist (frowning, clearly confused by Frank’s tone): "I’m talking about real change, Frank! We need people like you, with the courage to take a stand and defend our future. I’m not talking about doing nothing. I’m talking about action!"

Frank (leaning in now, his voice turning mockingly serious): "Action? Oh, you mean marching around and pointing fingers? Yeah, that’s real action. You know what would be real action? Telling people to stop being idiots and maybe take care of their own mess instead of blaming the world for their problems. But sure, I’ll join your revolution if it involves a lot of shouting and no actual work."

Crypto-Fascist (growing more irritated): "You don’t understand! This isn’t just talk. This is the beginning of a movement! We’re building something, Frank. Something huge. A return to power, to greatness!"

Frank (eyes narrowing as he leans even further forward, his voice dripping with disdain): "A return to greatness, huh? What, are you gonna bring back powdered wigs and horse-drawn carriages while you’re at it? Maybe we can all just walk around in sandals and tunics like it’s ancient Rome. That’ll really solve all the problems, won’t it?"

Crypto-Fascist (pausing, looking disoriented): "I… I don’t know what you’re talking about. This is about creating a world where people can feel proud again, where there’s no confusion, no chaos. It’s about purity, Frank."

Frank (chuckling bitterly): "Purity? You want purity? That’s the last thing we need. We need mess, we need chaos, we need to stop pretending that if we all look the same and think the same, everything’s going to magically get better. You think wearing the same suit and waving the same flag is going to make the world a better place? Please."

Crypto-Fascist (clenching his fists, getting red in the face): "You’re missing the point! This isn’t about looking the same! This is about saving our culture, about restoring order, about making things right again!"

Frank (rolling his eyes, standing up to leave): "Yeah, I’m sure the world’s gonna be really saved when we all start marching around with flags and yelling slogans. But, hey, good luck with that. I’ll be here, eating fries and watching this great society you’re planning crumble while I’m laughing from the sidelines."

(Frank walks out of the diner, leaving the Crypto-Fascist fuming at the table, while the other diners give each other nervous glances.)

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End Scene