Title: Cathy’s "Enlightening" Visit to the Flat Earth Society
Scene: A small community hall. A banner reading "Flat Earth Society: Exploring the Truth" hangs across the room. Several members of the society are sitting in folding chairs, eagerly waiting for the meeting to start. Cathy enters, coffee in hand, her expression one of polite curiosity. She sits down near the back, placing her coffee cup on the table.
Cathy (murmuring to herself as she sits down): "Oh, I can feel the fresh energy of radical new ideas in the air already. Let’s see how this unfolds…"
Flat Earther 1 (standing at the front of the room, enthusiastically addressing the crowd): "Welcome, everyone! Tonight we continue our quest to expose the biggest lie ever told to humanity: that the Earth is a spinning ball! You’ve all seen the evidence, right?"
Cathy (leaning forward, her voice dripping with mock admiration): "Oh, absolutely. I mean, it’s truly impressive. The evidence you've uncovered is so... groundbreaking. Who needs all those boring scientific studies when you’ve got passion and, well, belief?"
Flat Earther 2 (nodding eagerly): "Exactly! The mainstream media has been brainwashing us for years! It’s all about opening your eyes!"
Cathy (gently tapping her chin): "Ah, yes. The old ‘waking up’ analogy. So, you’ve all been asleep this whole time, right? And now, here you are, the brave few who’ve managed to finally escape the Matrix, as it were?"
Flat Earther 1 (beaming): "That’s exactly it! We’ve realised the truth, and we need to make sure others know."
Cathy (pausing thoughtfully): "I see. And I suppose you’ve discovered this truth in your spare time, just casually flipping through ancient manuscripts and obscure websites, while the rest of us have been out here believing in, well, actual science?"
Flat Earther 2 (getting more animated): "Yes! That’s exactly it! You can’t trust science—it’s all manipulated by the elites!"
Cathy (nodding sagely, taking a sip of her coffee): "Oh, of course. The elites, right. I can just imagine them now, sipping their $9 lattes, laughing at how they’ve tricked all of us into thinking the Earth is round. It’s all part of the master plan, isn’t it?"
Flat Earther 1 (frowning slightly, but not catching the sarcasm): "Exactly! They want to keep us in the dark."
Cathy (smiling widely, her voice almost sweet): "Yes, how dastardly of them. I bet they just spend their weekends twiddling their evil moustaches while cackling about how they’re keeping the round Earth lie alive. Meanwhile, you’re here, waking up the masses. Truly inspiring."
Flat Earther 2 (now a bit puzzled, trying to stay focused): "We’re exposing the truth, Cathy! The truth is right in front of us!"
Cathy (pausing dramatically, as if considering a deep revelation): "Oh, I absolutely agree. The truth is so right in front of us. It’s like... well, it’s like the obvious solution to a mystery novel where the ending is so unexpected that you wonder how no one saw it before, right? I mean, the flat Earth theory makes so much sense once you really look at it from the right angle."
Flat Earther 1 (getting more confident): "Exactly! You get it, Cathy! We’re the brave ones. The truth-tellers!"
Cathy (leaning back, almost proudly): "Oh, I get it all right. I’m just so glad you’re here to enlighten me. You’ve really opened my eyes to the truth. I’m just so lucky to be in the presence of such... dedicated truth-seekers. You’ve really changed my life."
Flat Earther 2 (still oblivious): "Thank you, Cathy. We need more people like you on our side."
Cathy (standing up, about to leave, smiling as sweetly as ever): "Oh, don’t worry. I’m absolutely on your side. I’ll tell all my friends about this groundbreaking meeting. After all, we wouldn’t want them to remain in the dark, now would we?"
Flat Earther 1 (beaming): "Exactly! Tell everyone about the truth!"
Cathy (nodding as she walks towards the door, but then stopping to turn back): "Oh, and one more thing. You’re absolutely right about the Earth being flat. In fact, I think I’ll start my own campaign. I’ll call it, ‘Flatten the World—One Conversation at a Time.’"
Flat Earther 2 (nodding eagerly): "That’s perfect! You should start that campaign!"
Cathy (smiling, her voice dripping with sweetness): "Oh, I will. Thanks for the inspiration. Good luck, everyone. And remember... the world’s flat, but your arguments? Not so much."
(Exit Cathy, leaving the room in stunned silence, with the flat earthers still processing her remarks.)
End Scene
