Scene: The Heavenly Waffle Conundrum
Back at the community hall, the waffle debate rages on. Sandra’s group feels cornered. Reginald "Sky Investigator" Peabody is merciless.
The room gasps. Barry looks worried, but Sandra’s eyes light up with inspiration.
Reginald stammers, caught off-guard. The crowd murmurs, unsure.
The Fellowship’s conviction deepens, but Sandra knows they need irrefutable evidence. She points dramatically to a wall map.
Scene: The Pilgrimage to Waffle House Cathedral
The Fellowship sets off in their battered van. Along the way, they stop to gather "evidence" at roadside diners, pancake festivals, and a farm advertising “World’s Largest Cast-Iron Skillet.”
Highlights include:
- Sandra attempting to “douse for truth” by spinning a frying pan tied to a string, accidentally knocking over a waitress.
- Barry’s dramatic discovery of a waffle that has “seven perfect divots,” which he declares represents the seven heavens of flat theology.
- The group getting kicked out of a museum after they try to use an infrared thermometer on a painting of Hell.
Scene: Arrival at Waffle House Cathedral
They finally arrive at a Waffle House in Georgia, which they’ve mythologised as the “Cathedral of All Truth.”
Inside, the group kneels before the griddle, chanting softly. Sandra approaches the cook, a man named Earl, who watches them with a mix of bemusement and terror.
To humour them, Earl flips a pancake. The group gasps as it lands slightly unevenly.
Earl sighs and flips another pancake—this time it lands perfectly. The group erupts into cheers.
Scene: A Rival Emerges
As the group celebrates, a voice interrupts. It’s none other than Reginald Peabody, who’s followed them across state lines with his rival faction, The Spiral Celestialists.
He holds up a suspiciously circular waffle. Sandra’s group gasps.
The Fellowship and the Celestialists descend into chaos, arguing over the sacred geometry of waffles while Earl slowly locks the door behind them.
Scene: The Revelation
As the two factions bicker, Sandra’s frying pan slips from her hands and clatters to the floor. Everyone stops, staring at it in silence. Slowly, Sandra picks it up and examines the reflection of the Waffle House sign in its curved surface.
The crowd gasps.
Sandra nods, tears streaming down her face.
She looks up at the Waffle House logo, glowing like a divine beacon.
Their newfound unity is short-lived, however, as a new schism arises: does the coffee pot represent the black hole at the centre of the universe, or the source of divine energy itself?
The saga continues...
