"The Curvature Paradox"
Act 1: Into the Kaleidoscope
The flat-earthers—Fred, Susan, Dave, and a few others—find themselves mysteriously transported to a bizarre world that defies all logic. Mirrors stretch infinitely in all directions, fractals twist and turn the landscape, and horizons bend and fold like origami.
Their arrival sparks immediate confusion, but they quickly rationalise it:
- Fred declares, "This is obviously the result of globalist mind control! They've engineered this environment to discredit us!"
- Dave insists, "The curvature is an illusion. It’s just light bending. Once we find the edge, we’ll prove it’s flat!"Susan, meanwhile, is silent, quietly unnerved by the world’s unending distortions.
As they venture deeper, they encounter The Prismatic Council, a group of shimmering, light-refracting entities. The Council mocks their beliefs, taunting:
- "Flat? Round? What does it matter when everything bends? Prove your edges in a place where all lines curve!"
Despite the Council’s riddles, the flat-earthers dismiss them as "propaganda tools" and push onward.
Act 2: Reflections of Chaos
The flat-earthers soon find themselves trapped in a hall of mirrors, where their reflections take on lives of their own. The mirrors begin showing fragments of their past, twisting their memories into grotesque, exaggerated forms:
- Fred sees himself debating a round-Earther, only to realise he’s arguing with his own distorted reflection.
- Susan watches a memory of herself as a child, questioning the horizon at sunset, before the mirror warps into infinite versions of her face, each laughing hysterically.
- Dave’s reflection becomes a giant, shouting "Find the edge!" at him until he panics and smashes the mirror—only to create countless smaller reflections, all mocking him.
Just as their sanity begins to fray, a group of interdimensional tourists appears, led by a flamboyant guide wearing a kaleidoscope-patterned suit. The tourists treat the flat-earthers like a bizarre exhibit, snapping photos and buying souvenirs.
- One tourist offers Fred a T-shirt that reads, "I Survived the Infinite Hall of Mirrors (and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt)."
- Another sprays toast crumbs everywhere, just to see what happens when the flat-earthers try to "clean up" their reality.
The tourists’ carefree attitude infuriates the flat-earthers, who accuse them of being part of the conspiracy. But Susan starts to wonder if the tourists have the right idea—accepting the absurdity rather than fighting it.
Act 3: The Keeper of Corners
The group eventually stumbles upon The Keeper of Corners, a cryptic figure who claims to know the location of the "edges" of this world. However, the Keeper demands proof of their commitment:
- "If you truly believe the Earth is flat, show me its corners. Only then will I reveal the path to the edge."
This challenge splits the group:
- Fred and Dave become obsessed with proving their case, measuring and re-measuring the fractal environment, growing increasingly paranoid as the angles refuse to add up.
- Susan, meanwhile, begins to embrace the kaleidoscope world, realising that its constant shifting is a metaphor for the futility of rigid beliefs. Her laughter echoes through the mirrors as she starts to find joy in the chaos.
The Keeper watches silently, amused, as Fred and Dave spiral into madness. Their arguments grow louder and more nonsensical, the kaleidoscope reacting to their frustration by bending even further, creating a surreal storm of infinite shapes.
Act 4: Round Meets Flat
Just as the group reaches their breaking point, a new faction arrives: The Round-Earthers, armed with compasses, globes, and an unshakable sense of superiority. The two groups immediately clash, their debate spiralling into a physical altercation as the world itself twists and contorts in response.
- The Debate:
- Fred shouts, "Your globe is propaganda!"
- A Round-Earther fires back, "Your map is a lie!"
- The Keeper of Corners sits back and enjoys the chaos, muttering, "Ah, such beautiful entropy."
The kaleidoscope world becomes increasingly unstable, reflecting their arguments as literal phenomena:
- Every mention of "gravity" causes the characters to float upwards.
- When someone yells about "proof," their words materialise as shards of glass, shattering and reforming around them.
- The "horizon" begins spinning like a wheel, dragging both factions in circles.
Act 5: Unity Through Absurdity
In the midst of the chaos, Susan steps forward, now fully attuned to the world’s absurd nature. She begins laughing uncontrollably, her joy breaking through the factions’ arguments.
- "Don’t you see? None of this matters! Flat, round—it’s all just shapes in a shifting kaleidoscope. The more we fight, the more this place bends us!"
Her laughter spreads, first to the tourists (who start filming her as a "performance art piece"), then to some of the flat- and round-earthers. Slowly, the groups begin to realise that the kaleidoscope world thrives on their conflict. The only way to escape is to embrace its absurdity.
Act 6: The Cosmic Reveal
As the laughter reaches a crescendo, the kaleidoscope world collapses in on itself, revealing a vast control room where an alien researcher observes the experiment. The alien shakes its head, recording notes:
- "Subjects continue to prioritise ideology over adaptation. Flat-earthers remain particularly stubborn, but Round-earthers exhibit similar rigidity when provoked. Conclusion: Hilarity ensues."
The flat-earthers demand answers, but the alien simply shrugs and tosses them a globe before vanishing. The story ends with the groups staring at the globe in silence, their reflections flickering in the cracked remains of the kaleidoscope world.
