Act 7: The Daleks Return to Skaro
The Dalek fleet limps back to their home planet, Skaro. Their gleaming citadel, full of ominous spires and eerie green light, stands as a reminder of their supposed supremacy. But today, their return is one of shame. The Supreme Dalek Council gathers to hear the fleet’s report.
The Council buzzes in confusion.
The Council recoils in horror.
The Dalek Crisis of Purpose
As the Council deliberates, Daleks across Skaro begin to experience an unprecedented phenomenon: an existential crisis. The streets are filled with Daleks muttering to themselves.
Daleks begin seeking coping mechanisms. One starts painting abstract art ("CUBES OF DESPAIR"). Another invents a new game called "Illogical Chess," where pawns can teleport and the king can become a queen by declaring "I FEEL LIKE IT."
The Dalek Self-Help Movement
A particularly enterprising Dalek writes a self-help guide titled Finding Purpose in an Irrational Universe. It quickly becomes a bestseller across Skaro. Excerpts include:
- "WHEN LOGIC FAILS, TRY SHOUTING LOUDER. IF THAT FAILS, SHOUT LOUDER STILL."
- "IF IRRATIONALITY WORKS, PRETEND TO BE IRRATIONAL. FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT."
- "EMBRACE THE ABSURD. IT IS THE FINAL FRONTIER."
Daleks form support groups to discuss their feelings. At one meeting, a Dalek rolls forward nervously.
The group murmurs encouragement.
A New Invasion Plan
Meanwhile, the Supreme Dalek Council devises a new strategy: to embrace absurdity as a weapon. They rebrand themselves as “The Irra-Daleks” and design ships shaped like flat discs to appeal to flat-earthers. Their new battle cry is “EXTERMINATE… BUT WITH EMPATHY!”
The Daleks begin studying conspiracy theories with fervour. They infiltrate internet forums, spreading rumours like “Daleks invented crop circles” and “Daleks are secretly lizard people.” Soon, Earth is in chaos as humans argue about whether the Daleks are allies or enemies.
Act 8: The Daleks Go Viral
The Daleks’ new strategy backfires spectacularly. Their attempts to sow confusion lead to a bizarre cult forming around them. Flat-earthers, anti-gravity believers, and conspiracy theorists unite under the banner of “Dalek Truth Seekers.”
The video gains millions of views. Humans begin worshipping the Daleks as “truth speakers.” A Dalek influencer, calling itself “Dalek Truth-Bot,” gains a massive following on social media.
Supreme Logicator Dalek (watching the chaos unfold):
"THIS IS NOT WHAT WE INTENDED. BUT… IT WORKS. WE HAVE FINALLY CONQUERED EARTH… THROUGH MEMES."
