Scene: Daleks Have Become Woke Enforcers
Location: A University Campus
The campus is bustling with students. However, something unusual is happening today: Daleks have taken over, enforcing their newfound woke beliefs with terrifying zeal. They’ve even updated their famous battle cry to reflect their mission.
Dalek 1 (rolling up to a student with a "MAGA" cap):
“EXTERMINATE your problematic opinions! You cannot wear that hat in the presence of Dalek-approved intersectional thinking! I shall cancel you for your microaggression!”
Student (nervously):
“I’m just... trying to have a nice day. It’s just a hat!”
Dalek 1 (in a scathing tone):
“JUST a hat? You are perpetrating an act of oppression! We will cancel you and strip you of your right to ever wear selfish symbols again!”
Dalek 2 (whirling to a group of students wearing traditional clothing from their culture):
“EXTERMINATE cultural missteps! These garments are not appropriately woke for your uneducated hands! You are performing cultural misrepresentation! We, the Dalek Collective, have now deemed these outfits outdated—please consult the woke handbook before you wear anything again!”
Student 2 (defensively):
“Wait, these are my clothes... I wear them for my own culture!”
Dalek 2 (narrowing its eyestalk):
“You have not received the correct education in cultural competency! You must check your privilege and surrender your cultural identity to us for proper restructuring!”
The Daleks are now patrolling the campus, intercepting anyone who doesn’t meet their "woke" standards. A student is seen holding a sign that reads, "Save the Whales!"
Dalek 3 (shifting its eyestalk toward the student):
“EXTERMINATE false activism! You cannot claim to care about the environment without participating in our inclusive activism webinars first! You are just virtue signaling!”
Student (confused):
“I... I just want to save the whales...?”
Dalek 3 (glowing with indignation):
“Do you even understand the intersectionality of whale conservation? You have failed to acknowledge the colonial history behind ocean pollution! This is unacceptable! I shall report you to the Cancelation Chamber!”
Meanwhile, in the Quad:
Dalek 4 and Dalek 5 are confronting a group of students sitting on a bench, having a discussion about philosophy.
Dalek 4 (glowering):
“EXTERMINATE ableism in philosophy! How dare you discuss concepts that are theoretically ableist! You must now publicly apologize for your exclusionary thoughts!”
Student 3 (laughing nervously):
“We’re just discussing Kantian ethics... it’s a classic topic.”
Dalek 5 (harshly):
“No. This is problematic! Your discussion is built on the privileged assumptions of an able-bodied philosopher. You need to decolonize your entire way of thinking about ethics!”
Dalek 4 (excitedly):
“You should have read the Woke Theory of Everything before even thinking about ethics! Now, prepare yourself for woke re-education! Your beliefs will be dismantled one syllable at a time!”
Elsewhere on campus:
Dalek 6 is harassing a student who is simply enjoying a sandwich.
Dalek 6 (rolling toward the student):
“EXTERMINATE your toxic diet choices! You cannot possibly consume this dead animal without first attending our mandatory workshop on the oppression of food choices!”
Student (holding up a sandwich in disbelief):
“It’s a BLT! I don’t understand...”
Dalek 6 (insistent):
“EXTERMINATE speciesism! You are exploiting non-human animals and you must feel the weight of your actions! No more meat for you! Prepare to be re-educated on your unsustainable habits!”
Dalek 7 (standing on a podium, holding a megaphone):
“Gather around! The Dalek Woke Movement is here to impose our unyielding vision of the perfectly equitable world! We will cancel your ignorance and reprogram your brain to match our righteous values. Stand in line for your social justice transformation!”
Student 4 (grumbling):
“Wait, so... you guys are Daleks, right? I thought you were supposed to exterminate everything. Why are you all about teaching now?”
Dalek 7 (scoffing):
“Do not question us! We are exterminating the structures of oppression through the sheer power of our woke righteousness! The Dalek Collective has evolved—we now wield the power of cancel culture to shape society. Resistance is futile!”
Final Scene:
The Daleks are gathered at a central podium, surrounded by students who are now required to wear rainbow armbands showing their woke credentials.
Dalek 1 (with great pomp):
“We now declare this campus a safe space—for those who adhere to our woke Dalek values. Anyone who does not is subject to immediate cancellation! We will exterminate your outdated ideologies with extreme disdain!”
Student 5 (sarcastically):
“Wow, safe space and cancelling at the same time? That’s... so progressive.”
Dalek 2 (with a final flourish):
“EXTERMINATE your sarcasm! All sarcasm will be eradicated as part of our harmful rhetoric elimination plan!”
Dalek 1 (proudly):
“From now on, all opinions must align with the Dalek Woke Collective or face the consequences! We shall cancel the oppressive past and exterminate any conflicting ideologies—one tweet at a time!”
End Scene
