Scene: The Australopithecine Rally – A gathering of early hominids, somewhere on the plains of Africa. The sun is setting in the distance, casting an orange glow over the crowd of Australopithecines, who are waving makeshift signs that read “Make Australopithecines Great Again” and “Bring Back the Old Ways.” At the front of the crowd stands ARLO, an older but energetic Australopithecine with a tuft of hair on top of his head. His posture is commanding yet slightly awkward as he adjusts his “Make Australopithecines Great Again” T-shirt.
Arlo (pointing to the crowd, voice booming): "Listen up, my fellow Australopithecines! The time has come! We’ve been overlooked, underestimated, and frankly—disrespected! But we are going to show the world that we’re not just some stepping stone to Homo erectus! We are a force to be reckoned with!"
The crowd cheers wildly, pounding their chests and hooting in approval. A few Australopithecines in the front row hold up a banner that reads “Old-School Brain Power!”
Arlo (grinning, tapping a stick on the ground for emphasis): “These Homo erectus types think they’re so smart with their fancy tools and their upright posture. But let me tell you something—they’re missing the most important thing of all...the heart! And guess what? We’ve got that in spades!"
Crowd (chanting): "Heart! Heart! Heart!"
Arlo (nodding proudly): “Exactly! Now, we’re not going to sit back and let them run everything. It’s time we show ‘em how it’s done! We’ll bring back the old ways—the way we did it, with style and flair! No more complicated tools, no more walking around like a bunch of stiff-backed show-offs. We’re going back to basics!"
At this point, a rival Homo erectus leader, JAB, steps up to the front. He’s tall and well-built, wearing a tattered cape made from animal skins. He smirks as he raises a hand to silence the crowd.
Jab (mockingly): "Back to basics, eh? That’s your plan? You can’t be serious, Arlo. We Homo erectus have evolved, we’ve mastered fire, and we’ve got sharp rocks for tools! You’re still stuck in the stone age—literally!”
Arlo (chuckling, pointing to his chest): “You know, Jab, you keep talking about your fancy tools and your ‘evolution.’ But have you ever tried to actually...think? You know, use that big brain of yours for something other than cracking nuts and making pointy sticks?”
Jab (offended): “My brain is fully evolved, thank you very much! It’s far superior to yours. We can create shelters, hunt with strategy, and—”
Arlo (interrupting): “Ah, strategy! That’s cute, Jab. You and your Homo erectus pals are all about the ‘next big thing.’ But let me tell you something—being able to hunt in packs and build shelters doesn’t mean squat if you can’t appreciate the simple joys of life, like a nice, relaxing swing from a tree or a good solid rock to pound things with.”
The crowd laughs and claps, while Jab looks increasingly irritated.
Jab (gritting his teeth): “I’ll have you know, Arlo, that we’re on the cusp of creating the first permanent settlement! You’ll never be able to keep up with us. The future belongs to Homo erectus!”
Arlo (squinting thoughtfully): “Permanent settlements, huh? Well, good luck with that. Me? I’m thinking about the future, too—but in a different way. A future where we can have the best of both worlds: the intelligence of Homo erectus, but with the charm and style of Australopithecines!”
Crowd (erupting into cheers): "Charm! Style! Heart!"
Arlo (raising his arms in victory): “That’s right, folks. The future is ours, and we’re going to make Australopithecines great again! We’ll show these Homo erectus types that evolution doesn’t always mean walking tall—sometimes it means embracing who you truly are. Now, who’s with me?!”
Crowd (roaring with excitement): “We are!”
Arlo (smiling, looking out over his supporters): “Great! Now, let’s get back to basics—no more waiting around for Homo erectus to tell us what’s next. We’re going to lead the charge. To the trees! To the rocks! To the future!”
