Make Democrats Great Again
Scene: Trump’s gold-encrusted “Oval Oasis” at Mar-a-Lago. Trump sits on a throne shaped like a giant “T.” Elon Musk is beside him, scribbling notes furiously on a pad labelled “Rebranding America.” Trump is proudly wearing a new hat that reads “Make Democrats Great Again” (MDGA), though the stitching is crooked and the colours clash terribly.
Trump:
(gesturing wildly)
“Elon, it’s genius! The Democrats are a disaster, right? Total losers. But what if I—me, the greatest dealmaker of all time—make them great again? Nobody will see it coming!”
Elon:
(supportively, though clearly confused)
“Interesting angle, sir. But... how exactly do we make them great again? Policies? New leadership?”
Trump:
(snorting)
“Policies? Leadership? Boring. No, no, we do it the Trump way. First step, we rebrand them. New name: Super Trumpocrats. Sounds powerful, doesn’t it? Huge appeal.”
Elon:
(nodding, feigning enthusiasm)
“Brilliant, sir. Super Trumpocrats. Rolls right off the tongue.”
Trump:
(excited)
“And then, we fix their logo. That donkey? Terrible animal. Weak. Sad. We replace it with something better—like a gold-plated eagle holding a Diet Coke.”
Elon:
(scribbling notes)
“Gold eagle. Diet Coke. Got it. Genius, sir.”
Trump:
(nodding smugly)
“Of course it is. Step three: I’m running both parties. Republicans, Democrats, it doesn’t matter. Trump wins every time. Everyone loves a winner.”
Elon:
(cautiously)
“But won’t that make people suspicious? You know, monopolising both sides?”
Trump:
(dismissive)
“Elon, Elon, Elon. You don’t get it. People love me. I’m a unifier. The greatest unifier since Lincoln. And do you know how I unify? By giving them the one thing they all want.”
Elon:
“World peace? Economic stability?”
Trump:
(grinning)
“Better. Free Trump Steaks for every Democrat! They’ll forget they ever hated me. Nobody can resist Trump Steaks—they’re the filet mignon of diplomacy.”
Elon stares blankly for a moment, trying to process this level of delusion, before recovering with a forced smile.
Elon:
“You’re absolutely right, sir. Nothing says bipartisan unity like steak. But... what happens if it doesn’t work?”
Trump:
(smirking)
“Doesn’t work? Impossible. But just in case, we build a backup plan. We rename Alabama ‘New York 2,’ move the Statue of Liberty to Mar-a-Lago, and call it a day. Problem solved.”
Elon:
(under his breath)
“Problem solved for you.”
Trump:
(catching it)
“What’s that, Elon?”
Elon:
(jumping)
“Oh, nothing, sir! Just admiring your brilliance. ‘Make Democrats Great Again’ is pure, unfiltered genius.”
As Elon scurries out, muttering “This man might actually pull it off,” Trump leans back in his throne, gazing at his reflection in a gold mirror.
Trump:
(to himself)
“They said it couldn’t be done. They doubted me, just like they doubted my Trump University. But I’ll show them. I’ll make the Democrats great again—and they’ll thank me for it.”
He adjusts his MDGA hat proudly, as patriotic music swells and the scene fades to black.
