Scene: The Costanzas face off against the ultimate test—an infuriatingly stubborn CAPTCHA-protected Dalek vending machine.
George: slapping the vending machine in frustration “Why is this so hard?! I just want a soda! I’m a paying customer! Why is this so complicated?!”
Frank: barking at the machine “You’re not gonna fool me with your nonsense! I know your games, Dalek! You’re just a glorified toaster with a plunger! Give my son a soda, now!”
Estelle: leaning in, squinting at the screen “It’s not the machine, George, it’s your fault. You didn’t read the instructions. Typical. You never read anything! Always rushing, never thinking!”
George: gritting his teeth “I don’t have time for instructions, Mom! It’s a vending machine, not a manual for nuclear physics!”
Frank: loudly “That’s it, I’ve had enough! Dalek, you listen to me! If you don’t give my son his soda, I’ll EXTERMINATE YOU MYSELF!”
Frank: furious “A bus?! A BUS? What kind of question is that? Who’s got time to look for buses? What’s next, a question about zebras?”
George: nervously “Uh, Dad, I think you just have to click the pictures with the bus... but it's a bit tricky because some of them look like buses, but they might be, you know, more like... not buses?”
Estelle: sniffing “What’s the matter with you two? Can’t you figure it out? You always make things harder than they need to be! It’s a simple question!”
Frank: staring at the screen, rage building “A SIMPLE QUESTION? This thing is a travesty! Yelling at the Dalek machine “I’m not selecting your buses! Where’s my satisfaction? Where’s the service? Do I look like I’m here to solve puzzles?!”
Dalek: “ERROR. INVALID SELECTION. EXTERMINATE—please, try again.”
George: groaning “I hate this thing... It’s like it’s designed to destroy me. Why do I always get stuck in these situations?!”
Frank: pointing at George “No, no. It’s not you, George. It’s that machine! That thing’s got no heart! You need to fight back! Use your brain! The Dalek's nothing but a cheap imitation of a real vending machine!”
Estelle: “Why do I even bother? You’ll never get that soda. No, you’re going to get stuck in this hellhole forever—just like your whole life.”
Frank: spinning around in frustration “I’ve had it! I’ll take care of this!” He storms up to the machine and starts pounding it with his fists “Where’s your bus now, huh? Where’s your bus now, you tin can?!”
Dalek: “EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE—”
Frank: “EXTERMINATE THIS, YOU BUM!” He punches the machine one more time, before standing back, breathing heavily.
The machine buzzes, whirrs, and then— clink-clink-clink —a soda falls from the machine, landing perfectly in the tray.
George: eyes wide in disbelief “Did you just—? Did you just destroy the Dalek? And it gave us the soda?!”
Estelle: to Frank, crossing her arms “I told you, you’d get it eventually. Now, was that so hard, George?”
Frank: satisfied, as he takes a sip of the soda “I always win. You’re welcome.”
George: mumbling “You’re impossible... this was supposed to be a simple task... just one simple task...”
Estelle: chuckling “Yeah, George. But it’s never simple with you.”
The Costanzas leave, victorious but forever scarred by the existence of CAPTCHA-protected Dalek vending machines.
