The Costanzas at the Political Rally:
Frank, George, and Estelle are seated in the front row of a packed political rally, the air heavy with anticipation. The stage lights flare, and the crowd erupts into cheers as the familiar figure makes his entrance. But Frank’s not impressed. Not in the slightest.
Frank: (grumbling) “This place is about as organised as a garbage dump in a windstorm. Look at all these people standing around like they’re about to buy a used car from a guy who smells like sardines.”
George: (nervously) “Dad, please. You’re embarrassing me.”
Frank: (pointing) “Look at that guy over there—he looks like he’s got a face only a blind dog would love. That’s the kind of person who’d follow this idiot. What’s next, a free bottle of hair gel for everyone?”
Estelle: “Frank, just stop! You’re making a scene.”
Frank: “A scene? A scene? This whole place looks like a circus that ran out of elephants. The only thing missing here is a flamingo trying to sell cotton candy.”
George: “Dad, stop it, please!”
Frank: (ignoring George) “And look at that podium—what is that, a three-legged stool? That thing looks like it was designed by someone who lost a fight with a pencil sharpener. It’s all wobbly! We got a guy up there who looks like he hasn’t seen a straight line since the ’90s.”
Estelle: (whispering) “Frank, keep it down!”
Frank: “No, no! Look at that flag—it's hanging like a limp rag in a basement! I’ve seen more pride in a wet towel left out in the rain for a week! This place is falling apart faster than my second marriage. It’s like someone took the worst parts of a flea market and thought, ‘Hey, let’s make a show out of it!’”
George: (head in hands) “I can’t take you anywhere.”
Frank: (shouting) “And the people here! They look like they all showed up for a high school talent show, but forgot they were supposed to have a talent! What’s going on, folks, did they run out of mirrors at the costume store?”
Estelle: (facepalming) “Frank, you’re going to get us thrown out.”
Frank: “I don’t care! This place is a joke. And that guy up there, he looks like a bloated pumpkin on a diet. Don’t tell me he’s leading this circus!”
George: “Please, for once, can you just keep quiet?”
Frank: “You think I’m gonna keep quiet? This is like watching a train wreck in slow motion, and I’m stuck in the front seat with no seatbelt! This whole thing is like watching a bag of wet socks try to lead a revolution!”
The crowd turns to stare at Frank as his volume picks up. The speaker on stage gives a nervous glance over at the Costanzas.
Frank: “You know what this rally needs? A reality check and a fire hose. Get this place in order, or I’m outta here before the cookies run out!”
George: (whispers) “Dad, we’re not here for cookies...”
Frank: “Well, I’d settle for a decent sandwich. What’s with the chips? They’re not even regular chips! Looks like they gave out the crumbs at the bottom of the bag!”
With the rally descending into chaos around Frank’s ongoing rants, the poor political speaker stumbles through his speech while the Costanzas continue to be a force of nature—Frank’s insults layering one after another, while George is melting in embarrassment and Estelle’s just praying for it all to end.
