Here’s the scene—a Dalek has been reprogrammed (sort of) to campaign for Trump. It rolls onto the stage, covered in red, white, and blue streamers, a “Make America Exterminate Again” hat perched atop its eyestalk.
Dalek (addressing the crowd in a booming voice): “SUPPORT DON-ALD TRUMP! HE WILL LEAD YOU TO VICTORY!”
Crowd: “YEAH! USA! USA!”
Dalek: “TRUMP IS THE SUPREME LEADER! HE WILL MAKE AMERICA EXTERMINATE AGAIN!”
Supporter (holding up a sign that says “No to Illegal Aliens”): “Tell ‘em, Dalek!”
Dalek (wheeling towards the supporter): “ILLEGAL ALIENS WILL BE EX-TER-MI-NATED!”
Supporter (cheering wildly): “Exactly! Get rid of ‘em!”
Dalek: “TRUMP WILL BUILD THE WALL! WE WILL DEFEND THIS PLANET FROM ALL INFERIOR LIFE FORMS!”
Trump (stepping up to the podium, giving the Dalek an approving nod): “See, folks, this is what we’re talking about—true support. The Daleks, they know what it means to be tough. To get results.”
Dalek: “TRUMP WILL DOMINATE ALL OPPONENTS! KAMALA HARRIS WILL BE... EX-TER-MI-NATED!”
Trump (laughing): “Well, we don’t want to go that far, but I appreciate the enthusiasm. Let’s just say we’re going to be victorious in November.”
Dalek: “ALL WHO OPPOSE TRUMP WILL BE EX-TER-MI-NATED!”
Trump (awkwardly): “Uh, yes, well... I’m sure the voters will make the right decision.”
Dalek (ignoring him, now directly addressing the crowd): “YOU WILL VOTE FOR TRUMP! YOU WILL EX-TER-MI-NATE DOUBT! DO NOT RESIST!”
Crowd (laughing nervously, some applauding): “U-S-A! U-S-A!”
Trump (taking back the mic): “Let’s just say, folks, we’ve got very dedicated supporters from all over—across the galaxy, even. And when you’ve got that kind of support, there’s nothing we can’t accomplish.”
Dalek (rolling offstage, chanting): “EX-TER-MI-NATE FOR TRUMP! EX-TER-MI-NATE FOR TRUMP!”
The crowd leaves, half-energised, half-worried, as the Dalek chants its way into the night. Nothing says enthusiasm quite like a Dalek on the campaign trail!
