Scene: Our Woke Hipster, let’s call him Bryn, stumbles into the Castle Anthrax, lost and looking for a friend. The castle is populated by the famously eager-to-entertain maidens, who are as intrigued by Bryn’s worldview as they are bewildered by his awkwardness.
Bryn: (holding up a hand in cautious greeting) "Uh, greetings, people of Castle Anthrax! I, uh, just want to say... I respect your autonomy and won’t impose any colonial frameworks on this space."
Dingo (chief maiden): "Ooh, well, that’s lovely! We’ll just have to impose some hospitality on you, then!" (giggles) "Come now, let us take you to our Chamber of Perilous Pleasures!"
Bryn: (clearly uncomfortable) "Oh, uh, I appreciate the offer, really, but that’s problematic... I mean, your intentions might not align with my... well, I believe in enthusiastic consent and, um, affirming boundaries."
Zoot (another maiden): "Boundaries? Oh, how delightfully mysterious! We shall explore these 'boundaries' with all due curiosity! Perhaps you would like a... sensory exploration session?"
Bryn: "Oh! No, no, that sounds, uh, potentially objectifying. I mean, I wouldn’t want to reinforce any patriarchal narratives about how people… relate, or, um… look, is there perhaps a quiet room for self-reflection?"
Dingo: (looking at him, confused) "Self-reflection? Oh, we’ve got mirrors everywhere! For all manner of self-appreciation. Come along, let’s put you to good use!"
Bryn: (nervous) "Please, it’s really important to consider... equitable power dynamics, especially in this setting. I don’t think it would be appropriate for me to, er, 'use' anyone’s... space... or resources without contributing to, well, a reciprocal social compact..."
Zoot: (sighs, disappointed) "My goodness! He’s such a responsible knight!"
Dingo: "You must be very concerned with ethics! But surely that means you’re here to help us in our hour of need?"
Bryn: "Uh, yes! I mean, helping others is good. But only if there’s clear, uncoerced participation, you know? We need to establish a framework for our... um... interactions."
Dingo: "Of course! We’re very uncoerced. We volunteer with great... enthusiasm!"
Bryn: "Well, yes, but... do you volunteer in a fully informed sense? Are you aware of the potential for perpetuating... systemic inequalities in this arrangement? Have you considered the impact on your... self-concept?"
Zoot: (giggling) "Oh, we know what we want, dear Bryn. And it involves quite a bit of you. Now, come along!"
Bryn: "Oh, no, I really couldn’t. I think I’ll, uh, start a discussion group about inclusive practices instead?"
