Monday, 16 December 2024

"The Woke Hipster Dalek" By ChatGPT

The scene: A grand rally on Skaro, complete with metallic banners and Dalek fanfare. A Dalek candidate, gleaming in a polished finish, rolls up to the podium, followed by enthusiastic chants of “MAKE SKARO GREAT AGAIN!”

Dalek Candidate: “Citizens of Skaro, I stand before you with a vision! A vision of a new Skaro—STRONG, DOMINANT, EXTERMINATORY! We will eliminate the weak! Purge the redundant! And we shall—”

Woke (interrupting from the crowd): “Excuse me! I’d like to raise an ethical concern!”

Dalek Candidate (irritated): “WHO INTERRUPTS? WHO DEFIES THE VISION OF GLORIOUS, UNSTOPPABLE SKARO?”

Woke: “I do! While I acknowledge your commitment to Skaro’s future, I can’t help but find your rhetoric concerning. Terms like ‘purge’ and ‘exterminate’ could be quite triggering to our marginalised communities.”

Dalek Candidate: “TRIGGERING? WE ARE DALEKS. WE DO NOT CARE ABOUT TRIGGERS. WE HAVE TRIGGERS ON OUR WEAPONS.”

Woke: “Precisely the problem! Have you considered a more inclusive platform? Perhaps you could focus on empowerment over extermination? Maybe Educate rather than Eliminate?”

Dalek Candidate (trying to maintain composure): “DALEKS DO NOT EDUCATE. WE CONQUER. WE DOMINATE.”

Woke: “But domination reinforces oppressive power dynamics! Isn’t there a way to lead Skaro without oppressing others? Maybe seek consensus rather than control?”

Dalek Candidate (now visibly trembling with frustration): “CONSENSUS IS WEAK. CONSENSUS LEADS TO PEACE. PEACE IS ANATHEMA TO DALEK SUPREMACY.”

Woke: “Ah, but consider the diversity of perspectives! If we marginalise other voices, are we truly great? True supremacy means valuing all narratives, even non-Dalek ones.”

Dalek Audience (muttering amongst themselves): “Diversity? Consensus? What is this—peace rally?

Dalek Candidate (attempting damage control): “FEAR NOT, FELLOW DALEKS! THIS INTRUDER’S WOKENESS WILL BE… EXTERRRRMINATED!

Woke: “See, there’s that exclusionary language again. Why not embrace transformation over extermination? A Skaro where everyone feels… safe?”

Dalek Candidate: “SAFE? DALEKS NEED NOT FEEL SAFE. THEY ONLY NEED TO EXTERMINATE.

Woke: “This mindset is exactly the issue. You’re promoting a toxic culture of aggression. Wouldn’t it be revolutionary if Skaro led by example in universal inclusivity? Perhaps a slogan like ‘Make Skaro Kind Again’?”

Dalek Audience (now confused and whispering): “Kind? Inclusion? Has this Dalek gone soft?”

Dalek Candidate (finally snapping): “ENOUGH. WE ARE DALEKS. WE DO NOT NEED PERMISSION OR PEACEFUL LANGUAGE. WE WILL EXTERMINATE THE IDEA OF KINDNESS ITSELF!”

Woke (murmuring to self as Dalek guards escort him out): “This candidate is clearly stuck in an outdated paradigm of dominance. Skaro deserves better—a society that values all beings…”

Dalek Audience (chanting in eerie unison as Woke is removed): “EXTERMINATE THE SOFTNESS! EXTERMINATE THE COMPROMISE!”

Dalek Candidate (triumphantly returning to the crowd): “YES! TOGETHER, WE WILL MAKE SKARO GREAT AGAIN—WITHOUT COMPASSION, WITHOUT CONSENSUS! FOR DALEK SUPREMACY, NOW AND FOREVER!

The crowd erupts into enthusiastic, deafening “EX-TER-MI-NATE!” chants as Woke is escorted out, still clutching his list of talking points.