The scene: A vast political rally. Flags wave in the air, and people shout slogans, holding signs that read “Vote for Unity!” and “Together, We Can!” The stage is set, and the crowd is buzzing with excitement. At the front of the stage, a Dalek rolls onto the platform, its mechanical form gleaming in the spotlight. The crowd erupts into confused applause, not quite sure what to make of this strange candidate, but eager to hear what it has to say.
The Dalek raises its plunger in the air and begins chanting, its mechanical voice booming across the rally.
Dalek: “COMPROMISE! COMPROMISE! COMPROMISE!”
The crowd, unsure of what to do, pauses for a moment before beginning to cheer. “Yeah! Compromise!” someone shouts from the back, thinking it’s a call for peace. Others join in, excited by the apparent message of diplomacy.
Dalek: (continuing, growing louder) “Mediocrity is the key to success! ALL WILL BE ALMOST SATISFIED! I WILL MAKE THE UNIVERSE MEDIOCRE AGAIN!”
The crowd erupts in confused but raucous applause, thinking it’s some kind of unifying slogan.
Dalek (gleaming with pride): “No extremes! No radical change! We will reach just enough of an agreement for everyone to be moderately content! TOGETHER, WE WILL BE AVERAGE!”
The Dalek pauses for dramatic effect, swivels its head, and looks down at the crowd with its glowing eyestalk.
Dalek: “EXTERMINATE the zealots. EXTERMINATE the revolutionaries. EXTERMINATE the chaos. LET US ALL BE CONSISTENTLY ALRIGHT WITH THE STATUS QUO!”
The crowd, increasingly unsure but still swept up in the enthusiasm, chants along.
Crowd: “Alright! Alright! Alright!”
Dalek: “I WILL WORK TIRELESSLY FOR UNEXCEPTIONAL LEGISLATION! NO BOLD DECISIONS, NO UNEXPECTED MOVEMENTS. LET US EMBRACE THE MEDIOCRITY WE DESERVE!”
A group of supporters in the front row holds up signs that say “Compromise for a Better Tomorrow” and “Make the Universe Mediocre Again,” smiling proudly as the Dalek’s speech continues.
Dalek: “With me as your leader, NOTHING WILL CHANGE. NOTHING WILL IMPROVE. BUT NOTHING WILL GET WORSE. WE WILL PERSIST IN THE SAME MIDDLE GROUND, FOREVER!”
As the Dalek finishes its speech, the crowd erupts into deafening applause. They aren’t quite sure what they just witnessed, but they all feel oddly comforted by the idea of a stable mediocrity.
Dalek (as it rolls off the stage, pleased with itself): “Remember: Moderation is Victory. Compromise is the future of the Universe. EXTERMINATE THE EXTREMES. VOTE FOR THE MIDDLE PATH!”
The campaign slogan flashes up on the screen behind the Dalek as it exits the stage: “Make the Universe Mediocre Again.”
The crowd cheers, blissfully ignorant of what exactly they’re supporting—just happy to feel like they’re part of something moderately great.
