Scene: A maximum-security prison. The inmates are all woke hipsters, sporting ironic beanies, flannel shirts, and thick-rimmed glasses. They sit around, scribbling down notes on their social justice manifestos while sipping oat milk lattes. The prison staff, however, are criminally insane Daleks—imposing, terrifying, and completely unhinged. The Daleks stand in rows, their metallic voices echoing through the halls as they patrol, occasionally zapping a wall to remind everyone who's in charge.
Woke Hipster 1: (adjusting his beanie) "I think, like, we really need to interrogate the prison-industrial complex, you know? It's, like, an institutionalised expression of patriarchal oppression. I mean, why should we have this entire ‘good and bad’ binary? It’s a spectrum of experiences, man. We need to be more… inclusive."
Dalek 1: (rolling forward, its eye flashing) "IN-CLU-SIVE… DO NOT QUESTION THE SYSTEM! EX-TER-MIN-ATE… binary!"
Woke Hipster 2: (nodding vigorously, oblivious to the Dalek's presence) "Exactly! The binary is toxic. We need to free ourselves from those constraints and, like, recognise the fluidity of identity. It’s all about self-expression! Like, I’ve been trying to find a new pronoun for my coffee cup. I think I’m calling it ‘they’ now. It’s just so empowering, you know?"
Dalek 2: (snapping) "YOU WILL NOT ASSIGN PRONOUNS TO COFFEE CUPS! EX-TER-MIN-ATE… pronouns!"
Woke Hipster 3: (holding up a sign that reads "End Capitalism, Start a Collective Farm") "You know, I think we need to redistribute resources equally. The whole concept of ownership is inherently capitalist and rooted in colonialism, so we should, like, eliminate that. Instead, we should share, right?"
Dalek 3: (visibly agitated) "ELI-MI-NATE… sharing? EX-TER-MIN-ATE… resources!"
Woke Hipster 1: (deflecting) "No, no, not eliminate resources! Redistribute resources! The problem is wealth inequality, right? So we need to, like, take back what’s rightfully ours!"
Dalek 1: (pausing for a moment, considering the idea) "TAKE BACK? EX-TER-MIN-ATE… TAKE BACK? IN-SIG-HTFUL…"
Woke Hipster 2: (excitedly) "Right, right, we’re, like, dismantling the systems of oppression by unmaking these structures. Imagine a world where there’s no hierarchy—no prison-industrial complex. Just equality and—"
Dalek 2: (interrupting with frustration) "EX-TER-MIN-ATE… your equality!"
Woke Hipster 3: (not backing down) "And we need to interrogate the language we use, like, really think about how we’ve been socialized to accept oppressive terms like ‘jail’ and ‘convict.’ What if we called them reparative growth centers or liberation zones instead? Words have power, man!"
Dalek 3: (screeching) "WORD-S? EX-TER-MIN-ATE… WORDS! LANGUAGE IS IRRELEVANT!"
(Meanwhile, a group of Woke Hipsters gathers around a metal table, discussing the ethics of avocado toast while a Dalek observes from afar, trying to understand the chaos unfolding.)
Dalek 1: (to itself, growing more confused) "EX-TER-MIN-ATE… avocado? EX-TER-MIN-ATE… ethics? I cannot compute!"
Woke Hipster 1: (noticing the Dalek's confusion) "Oh, it’s, like, really important that we decolonize breakfast. We need to interrogate the origins of avocado toast and how it perpetuates gentrification and erasure of indigenous culinary traditions."
Dalek 2: (screeching at full volume) "EX-TER-MIN-ATE… GENTRIFICATION! EX-TER-MIN-ATE… avocado!"
(A Woke Hipster nonchalantly sips their oat milk latte, unbothered by the Dalek's tirade.)
Woke Hipster 2: "Oh, but, like, we need to recognise the intersecting systems of oppression at play here, right? It’s all about creating spaces that allow marginalised communities to speak freely, unfiltered—"
Dalek 3: (cutting in, a laser blast cracking the air) "EX-TER-MIN-ATE… free speech! YOU WILL OBEY THE SYSTEM!"
Woke Hipster 3: (calmly raising a hand) "But, like, aren’t you just upholding the very system we’re trying to dismantle? If you really understood the power dynamics at play here, you’d, like, realize we can coexist. Don’t you want to be an ally?"
Dalek 1: (pausing dramatically, sounding confused) "AL-LY? EX-TER-MIN-ATE… ALLY? HOW DOES ONE… ally?"
Woke Hipster 1: "It’s, like, when we work together to create a more just, inclusive society… You know, with, like, compassion."
Dalek 2: (exploding with fury) "COM-PASS-ION? EX-TER-MIN-ATE… ALL EMOTIONS!"
Woke Hipster 2: (raising a finger as if to enlighten the Dalek) "But think about it—compassion is, like, what we need to heal the world. If you just look at the root causes of everything, you’ll realise it’s all connected. We need to raise consciousness, raise—"
Dalek 3: "EX-TER-MIN-ATE… RAISE. EVERYTHING."
