Scene: Noah's Ark is supposed to be underway. The skies are darkening ominously as George, looking utterly frazzled, stands in front of a mountain of animals. He's holding a clipboard that, judging by the crumples, has been heavily abused. He’s got a few sheets of paper sticking out—one of them is clearly a hastily scribbled list of animals that must be sorted and boarded.
George (frantically flipping through papers):
“Alright, alright. Giraffes, giraffes... where are the giraffes? I swear, I had them right here. Why is this my job? I’m not qualified for this! I should be sitting down somewhere eating a sandwich, not—ugh—handling all these... animals!”
(He sees a pair of lions walking by, and instantly gets nervous.)
George (nervously glancing at the lions):
“Lions? Oh no, no, no... What if they eat each other? Why didn’t I think about that?! Oh my god. Okay, okay. It’s just lions. It’s just lions... they’re fine. They’re fine. I’ll just—hey, hey, you! Get back on the boat! No, not that way, not that way! That’s the wrong ramp!”
(The lions, ignoring him, start strolling in the other direction.)
George (shouting after them):
“Where do you think you're going? You have to get on the boat! Do I have to put up a sign or something?! Do you think this is a luxury cruise?!”
(Meanwhile, an elephant walks by, knocking over several crates of food. George, barely managing to keep his composure, points desperately at the animal.)
George (gesturing wildly):
“Hey! Watch where you're putting that trunk! Do you have any idea how long it took me to organize this? You can’t just knock over the... oh, forget it. It’s going to be a disaster anyway. A total disaster!”
(George rushes over to the giraffes, who are now causing a traffic jam.)
George (trying to guide them):
“Okay, okay, just... just go in the middle of the boat! We don’t need to start rearranging things. You don’t even fit properly! I should’ve known! This was a terrible idea. Why am I doing this?”
(As if on cue, a zebra sneezes and a pile of hay gets scattered everywhere. George stares, completely defeated.)
George (his hand on his forehead):
“Great. Now, now, there’s hay all over. Perfect. You know, this is exactly the kind of thing that never gets mentioned in the creation manual, right? Nobody talks about the hay. I’m doing all this for nothing.”
(At this point, George notices a couple of snakes slithering past. He watches them suspiciously.)
George (with wide eyes):
“No, no, no, no... this is the last thing I need right now. Snakes. Snakes. Seriously? Are we doing this now? Are we really doing this? Someone else can deal with the snakes! I’m not dealing with the snakes!”
(He turns to see Noah, who’s standing far off, arms crossed, nodding in approval.)
George (pointing at Noah):
“Noah! Noah! Why didn’t you tell me how hard this was going to be? This is supposed to be your job, not mine! Why am I running around, getting trampled by zebras and debating whether a sloth counts as a pair?”
(Noah shrugs, not quite understanding George’s frustration.)
Noah (calmly):
“It’s all part of the plan, George. Just stay calm. You’ve got this.”
George (furiously waving his clipboard):
“Stay calm? STAY CALM? Are you even hearing yourself? I’m surrounded by wild animals and you’re telling me to stay calm?! This isn’t a plan, this is chaos! And don’t even get me started on the penguins—where are the penguins?! Are they migrating? Why are they always late?!”
