(The crowd looks around, a mix of confusion and curiosity. Someone in the back mutters, "Did he just say illegal?")
"Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, ‘Wait a minute, isn’t that… you know, illegal?’ And I say, 'Listen, folks, I’ve always been about doing things differently, okay? Tremendously different!' This is going to be the greatest thing you’ve ever seen. The best thing! And I’m not just talking about the legal immigrants who followed the rules, no, no, no. I’m talking about the illegal ones, the ones who’ve been hiding in the shadows! We’re going to bring them into the light, folks! And they’re going to be bigger, better, and more incredible than ever!"
(A confused silence falls over the crowd. One person whispers, "This is either brilliant or insane.")
"So here’s what we’re gonna do. First, we’re giving every illegal immigrant a golden ticket. That’s right, a golden ticket to the greatest country on Earth. It’s going to be a VIP pass, folks! No more hiding, no more being treated like a second-class citizen. We’re going to make them first-class! We’re going to give them jobs, jobs, and more jobs! Tremendous jobs! And guess what? These aren’t just any jobs. No, folks, these are going to be high-paying, top-tier, luxurious jobs. We’re talking CEOs, astronauts, maybe even the next President! People are going to say, ‘Wow, how did they go from illegal to unbelievable?’"
(A man in the front row stands up, shaking his head. Trump points at him.)
"That’s right, buddy! You’ll see them in your neighborhoods—working hard, doing big things. And we’re going to make sure they get the best health insurance. Free healthcare, folks. Best healthcare—no waiting in line, no red tape. Just straight to the top. Unbelievable healthcare! And everyone’s gonna say, ‘How did that happen?’ And I’ll tell you how—because I did it!"
(The crowd starts to cheer, though some are still unsure if this is a joke or policy.)
"And we’re also going to make illegal immigration fashionable, folks. We’re giving away MIGA jackets. These jackets are going to be so nice, you won’t believe it. They’ll say, ‘Wow, you’ve got the MIGA jacket! You must be one of the most important people in America!’ And guess what? You’ll be wearing it in the White House. I’m telling you, folks, it’s going to be a revolution in fashion. The best revolution."
(An intern in the back begins feverishly designing a "MIGA" jacket with a gold zipper, unsure if this is just an offhand idea or a policy directive.)
"And we’ll build the greatest wall, folks—not to keep people out—no, no, no! This one’s going to be for the celebration. We’ll put up a wall, and every illegal immigrant who crosses it will get a certificate of achievement. Because, folks, they’ve achieved something. They’ve crossed the greatest wall in the world. And now they’re part of the greatest story in America—the story of success!"
(The crowd begins chanting “MIIA! MIIA!” as the concept of the rally becomes more surreal. Trump’s aides look at each other, unsure whether they should celebrate this bold new direction or send him back to the teleprompter.)
"So, folks, we’re going to make illegal immigrants the greatest thing ever! And you know what? We’re going to be so proud of them, people are going to say, ‘How did we live without them?’ It’s going to be tremendous, believe me!"
(As the rally winds down, the crowd continues chanting “MIIA!” Trump’s campaign team begins planning for a new wave of "MIIA" branded merchandise and VIP passes, while no one quite knows how this will play out.)
