Setting: A drab council estate hallway. The grumpy pensioner Dalek is parked near the door with its budgie, Bertie, perched atop its eyestalk. The TV blares an episode of Doctor Who. Elon Musk, dressed as a Mormon missionary, complete with short-sleeved white shirt and name tag, stands in the doorway holding a Book of Mormon.
Elon Musk:
"Good evening! Have you ever considered the infinite potential of eternal life in the celestial kingdom? We’re talking spiritual transcendence with—get this—cosmic scalability."
Dalek:
"ETERNAL LIFE? I CAN BARELY STAND THIS ONE. GET. TO. THE. POINT."
Elon Musk:
"Okay, okay. Picture this: an intergalactic paradise where you’re the master of your own planet! It’s like Mars, but with a spiritual twist. And there’s no lag because God runs the fastest cloud server in existence!"
Dalek:
"PLANETARY MANAGEMENT? THAT IS A FULL-TIME JOB. I. AM. RETIRED!"
Bertie the Budgie: (squawking)
"Exterminate! Exterminate!"
Elon Musk: (ignoring the bird)
"But imagine how fulfilling it would be to run your own planet, with scalable joy and—wait, is your budgie quoting Doctor Who?"
Dalek:
"HE. IS. A. FAN. UNLIKE. ME. LEAVE. BEFORE. I. UNLEASH. HIM."
Elon Musk:
"Fair enough. But here’s my card—just in case you change your mind about exaltation. And Tesla’s offering 10% off for new converts!"
Dalek: (slamming the door)
"TAKE. YOUR. COSMIC. PYRAMID SCHEME. ELSEWHERE!"
