Elon: "Welcome, my brothers and sisters in faith... and innovation. Today, we embark on a mission far greater than Mars—eternal salvation in the Celestial Kingdom!"
The congregation gasps as Elon unveils The Book of Mormon 2.0, an app with augmented reality features, allowing users to experience key moments from Mormon history in holographic form.
Elon: "Why settle for gold plates buried in the ground when you can have them projected directly into your retinas through Neuralink? And don't worry, we've made tithing seamless with Dogecoin."
He gestures, and a fleet of white Teslas autonomously drives into the temple, their trunks opening to reveal sacrament trays loaded with artisan bread and "Elon's Eternal Elixir," a brand-new beverage line.
He knocks on the door of a tech CEO.
CEO: "Elon? What are you doing here?"
Elon: "I'm here to share the true gospel, but also... to sell you a flamethrower. Both are life-changing."
The CEO slams the door. Elon looks at the camera.
Elon: "They're not ready for eternal innovation. But they will be."
Elon: "And remember, brothers and sisters, the afterlife isn't just a place—it's a mindset. A mindset we can 3D print!"
The congregation cheers, the automated choir belts out a hymn, and Elon's flamethrower sends a fiery "Hallelujah" into the air.
