Scene: The rally is in full swing. Trump stands at the podium, confidently addressing the crowd. His usual brashness is amplified by an outlandish idea he’s just come up with, and he’s totally convinced it's a winning strategy.
Trump: (grinning broadly, hands raised in triumph)
"Thank you, thank you, everybody! What a crowd, what a turnout. We’ve won big, and now we’re going to take this country to new heights. The best heights, folks—no one’s ever seen anything like it. We’re going to do things no one thought possible. Believe me."
(The crowd cheers. He pauses, looks out at them as if he’s about to drop some major wisdom.)
Trump:
"Now, let me tell you something that’s going to blow your mind. We’re talking about superior people, the best of the best. And I’m not talking about, you know, the regular winners we already have. No, no, folks—we’re going to make new winners. Even better winners. We're going to breed them!"
(The crowd goes silent for a moment. Trump doesn’t notice their discomfort.)
Trump:
"I’m talking about genetic engineering, folks. Big-time stuff. We’re going to design the perfect Americans. The best genes, the sharpest minds, the strongest bodies. Think about it! No more weakness in this country. Just winners, folks."
(He gestures dramatically as if he's about to unveil a great secret.)
Trump:
"Forget about, you know, the old way of doing things—people just being born the way they are. That’s the past. The future, folks, is about control. We’re going to take the best genes, the strongest genes, and we’re going to make it happen. And I’m not just talking about one generation—oh no, we’re going to keep improving, we’re going to make people better every single time."
(A few gasps and murmurs ripple through the crowd. Some staff members exchange worried looks, but Trump carries on, oblivious.)
Trump:
"We’ll have a selection process, folks. A little Trumpian selection! Only the finest will make it. And for the rest? Well, you know, they can just... well, we don’t need to focus on them, do we? We’re going for the best, the top, the ones who are really going to win this country back. It'll be tremendous, believe me."
(An aide leans in to whisper in Trump’s ear, but Trump waves them off, too caught up in his own brilliance.)
Trump:
"Just imagine, folks, no more of these, uh, you know, people with weak genes. They can’t succeed. We need to focus on creating a master class. And who better to lead the charge than me, right? I’ve got the best genes, folks. Everyone says so. I’m practically a genetic masterpiece already!"
(He pauses for dramatic effect, as if awaiting applause. There’s awkward silence.)
Trump: (oblivious)
"Now, we’ll set up special zones, you know, like Trump Labs—places where we can focus on perfecting this process. We’ll have the finest scientists. The best scientists. They’re all going to work on making sure we only produce top-tier people. You know, for things like, uh, running companies, making America great again, maybe even running for office—only the best candidates, folks."
(There’s an uncomfortable cough from someone in the crowd, but Trump barrels on.)
Trump:
"And let me tell you, once we get this rolling, folks, we’ll have the smartest, strongest, most beautiful people in the world. I mean, think about it: perfect people, designed for success, ready to take on anything. You think China has something to offer? Wait until we roll out perfect Americans!"
(An aide frantically whispers something in his ear. Trump pauses, then looks back at the crowd.)
Trump:
"Wait, what? They said... breeding programs? No, no, no—I’m not talking about breeding programs. Let’s just call it... you know, genetic optimisation or something. Don’t get caught up in the words, folks. We’re going to make America perfect again. You’ll see."
(The crowd is dead silent, some people visibly uncomfortable. A nervous staff member stammers.)
Staff Member:
"Mr. President, this sounds... really controversial—"
Trump: (interrupting confidently)
"Controversial? What’s controversial about it? This is about winning, folks. The best people, the strongest people. We’re going to leave the rest behind, and we’re going to make this country unbeatable. Believe me, nobody’s going to do it better than me."
(Another fart—loud and long—interjects, this time much to the audience’s amusement, cutting the tension a bit. Trump looks around, momentarily confused, but then smiles, thinking it's part of the show.)
Trump:
"See? That’s what happens when you win so much, folks. It’s a victory sound. Big, strong, perfect! Just like we’re going to be. A master class, all of us. The best ever. You’ll see. We’ll win so much, you’ll be begging for mercy."
(He finishes with a grand, confident gesture, and the crowd awkwardly claps, unsure how to react. A few people try to force a smile, while others look horrified.)
