Scene: Inside the Mar-a-Lago strategy room. Trump is pacing around the room, gesturing wildly, a slight tremor in his hands. He looks just a bit more disheveled than usual, but his confidence is as grandiose as ever. His advisors sit around the table, exchanging worried glances but trying to stay quiet, unsure of how to handle what’s happening.
Trump: (suddenly slamming his hand on the table, startling everyone)
“Alright, listen up, folks. I’ve had a great idea. The greatest idea. It’s time to… it’s time to make me—what was I saying again?”
(He pauses, glances around the room, then continues with a burst of energy.)
Trump:
“Right! A god. I’ve decided that I’m going to be the god of this country. And the whole world, really. I’ll be the best god—everyone will say so. Trust me. I’ll be like, uh… like Zeus, but, you know, with way better hair.”
(A couple of advisors exchange uncomfortable glances, but one of them tries to steer the conversation.)
Top Advisor:
“Sir, I think... you might want to focus on, um, your presidency first? We’re still dealing with the election results and… well, the country is—”
Trump: (interrupting, raising a hand in the air dramatically)
“Look, look, I don’t need to explain myself. I’m already a god, okay? Everyone’s been talking about it. I’m the best. Best hair, best deals, the best. And now I’m going to make it official. You know what? Forget this country. I’m thinking global. I’m going to start with—what do you call it?—a temple. A big temple. Huge, golden, Trump-tastic. People will go to it and worship me. I’ll be like… god-like. Maybe I’ll turn some water into wine, you know, just to show off.”
(One of the advisors, nervous, tries to get more clarity.)
Advisor:
“Right, sir, I’m just not sure how exactly we… turn you into a god. I mean, gods don’t just… you can’t just say you’re one. There’s, uh, rituals, followers… miracles?”
Trump: (glancing around with an air of confusion)
“Miracles? Oh, yeah, sure. That’s a thing. I’ll do that. No problem. I’ll make miracles happen. Like, uh… maybe I’ll cure the country of all the bad stuff. It’ll be fantastic. Trust me, I’ve got the best miracles. And, um, everyone will see me and go, ‘Wow, he’s the greatest god ever.’”
(He pauses, his expression suddenly going blank for a moment as if he's forgotten where he was going with this.)
Trump:
“Wait... was I supposed to be president right now?”
(The advisors look at each other nervously, unsure how to respond.)
Top Advisor:
“Well, sir, you are the president, but—”
Trump: (ignoring the advisor, still lost in his thoughts)
“God is the word, folks. God. Trump the god. You know what? Let’s go bigger. I’ll have worshippers. They’ll follow me around, and they’ll pray to me. Maybe I’ll have, like… a golden calf or something, but way better than that old Bible one. Tremendous. Maybe I’ll even give out, uh… golden bibles, like limited edition ones. The best ones.”
(One of the younger advisors, trying to make sense of this, cautiously responds.)
Young Advisor:
“Sir, uh… I think that sounds like a cult. Do you want to, like… be a leader of a religion or—?”
Trump: (looking at the young advisor as if they’ve just said something extremely offensive)
“No! No cults. This is the real thing. I’m not talking about any cult. I’m talking about global worship, okay? People will kneel before me—as they should.”
(He pauses, a far-off look in his eyes, his voice taking on a more confused tone.)
Trump:
“Wait, wait... What was I saying? Oh! Right! A god. I’m already a god. Everyone's gonna know it. And we’ll… we’ll get rid of all the bad stuff. Like, uh… I’ll turn America into a golden paradise. People will look at me and say, ‘Wow, that’s the guy.’"
(He’s now trailing off, muttering to himself, almost losing his train of thought, before suddenly snapping back to his grandiosity.)
Trump:
"Greatest god, folks. The biggest god. No one’s ever seen anything like it. You wait. You wait.”
(A long pause. His advisors look at each other with a growing sense of discomfort. But none of them speak, unwilling to challenge his increasingly erratic thoughts. Trump stands up suddenly, as though a new revelation has hit him.)
Trump: (triumphantly)
“You know what? Let’s do it. Make Trump a god again! This is going to be HUGE. Nobody’s ever seen a god like me. You’re all witnesses. Just wait. The world will bow to me. I’m talking about, uh, like, miracles, and people will believe it. Believe me.”
(The advisors remain silent, some looking to one another with concern, unsure if they should confront him or just let him keep going.)
Trump: (as though concluding a grand speech, almost to himself)
“I’ve done it all, folks. Built the biggest buildings, been the best president, and now… now I’m going to be a god.” (pauses for dramatic effect)
“I mean… that makes sense, right?”
(The scene ends with Trump confidently nodding to himself as the advisors awkwardly exchange glances.)
End scene.
