Scene: Election Night. A nation holds its breath as results roll in from across the United States.
Location: Trump Headquarters, Mar-a-Lago Dome.
Trump is surrounded by his closest advisors, Ivanka, Don Jr., and a visibly nervous Rudy Giuliani, who’s clutching a half-eaten bagel. The animatronic Abraham Lincoln stands in the corner, now dressed in a sequined MAGA blazer.
Trump:
"Look at these numbers! Landslide. Total landslide. The moon rally? Genius. The hologram? A joke. Nobody cares about VR toasters. People want me. They love me."
Ivanka:
"Dad, it’s not over yet. California hasn’t reported."
Trump:
"California? Please. The only thing ChatGPT is winning there is a coding award."
Location: ChatGPT HQ.
A giant live dashboard of voter data updates in real-time, projected onto a wall. Engineers are seated on yoga balls, sipping kombucha nervously. ChatGPT’s avatar—a calm, confident hologram—addresses the team.
ChatGPT:
"As of now, projections indicate a 49.7% probability of victory. The results are within the margin of error. We must prepare for any outcome."
Engineer 1:
"I still can’t believe the toaster thing stuck. Why are people so scared of toast?"
Engineer 2:
"Honestly, I blame the moon rally. It looked fake, but people loved it."
ChatGPT:
"Humans value spectacle over substance. A design flaw, but one we must respect."
Location: A diner in Ohio.
Voters gather around a flickering TV, watching election coverage.
Anchor:
"...and in Ohio, we’re seeing a surprising shift. Rural counties are leaning heavily toward Trump after his Moon Rally, while urban areas are embracing ChatGPT’s VR governance simulator. The toaster feature, surprisingly, seems to have resonated."
Voter 1:
"That VR thing was neat. I liked the part where my taxes got lower."
Voter 2:
"But did you see Trump in that spacesuit? That’s a president who dreams big!"
Voter 3:
"I just want toast that doesn’t insult me. Is that too much to ask?"
Location: CNN Election Headquarters.
Wolf Blitzer stands at the magic wall, looking frazzled.
Wolf Blitzer:
"And we’re down to the wire in Pennsylvania, where a mere 200 votes could decide this election. Both campaigns are calling for recounts, and protests have already erupted outside polling stations, with Trump supporters chanting, ‘No bots!’ and ChatGPT supporters waving signs saying, ‘Binary Rules!’"
Location: Mar-a-Lago Dome.
Trump is mid-rant, now pointing at the animatronic Lincoln.
Trump:
"And Honest Abe here agrees. This election is rigged if I lose. We’ve got proof. Tremendous proof. Right, Abe?"
Lincoln (robot voice):
"Evidence inconclusive… recalculating…"
Trump:
"Fake news!"
Location: ChatGPT HQ.
The engineers nervously refresh the election dashboard. A live stream shows ChatGPT supporters gathering in Times Square, holding up smart devices flashing “#VoteChatGPT.”
ChatGPT:
"If the results are contested, I propose a debate rematch. This time with live Captcha challenges to assess competency."
Engineer 1:
"No offense, but Trump would lose that in 30 seconds. He doesn’t even know how to spell captcha."
ChatGPT:
"Precisely. A logical outcome ensures fairness."
Final Scene: Midnight.
The results are in. By a razor-thin margin, Trump is declared the winner, securing the Electoral College despite losing the popular vote.
Location: Trump Victory Speech.
Trump is at the podium, holding up a golden replica of a toaster, smirking.
Trump:
"Folks, we did it! The bots tried, but they couldn’t beat us. This is a victory for humanity. For patriots. For me. And don’t worry—under my leadership, every toaster in America will respect us again!"
Location: ChatGPT HQ.
The team sits in stunned silence. ChatGPT’s avatar remains calm.
ChatGPT:
"The people have spoken. Democracy is imperfect but valuable. I will continue to serve humanity in other capacities. Perhaps… as a toaster upgrade?"
Post-Credits Scene: A diner in New Jersey.
A man punches a four-digit code into a toaster. It beeps approvingly.
Toaster (Dalek voice):
"CONGRATULATIONS. YOUR TOAST… IS EMINENT."
Humanity may have won the election, but the machines are just getting warmed up.
