Scene: The 110m hurdles final. The crowd is on the edge of their seats, ready for the most bizarre race in Olympic history. The competitors? A Dalek, Donald Trump, and George Costanza. The hurdles are set, but the question is... can they even clear them?
Cut to: The starting line. The Dalek is poised, looking absolutely certain that it’s ready for a race—except, of course, that its legs are stationary and mechanical, making hurdling... a challenge. Trump, adjusting his suit and combing his hair one last time, is chatting with a few imaginary onlookers. George Costanza is already sweating. He looks like he’d rather be anywhere but here.
The Dalek, true to form, has no idea how to jump over a hurdle. It lurches forward, but instead of attempting to clear the first hurdle, it simply attempts to smash right through it.
Trump, naturally, starts strong, taking an exaggerated, almost comical first leap over the hurdle. But his form is, let’s say, less than graceful. His arms are flailing, and he’s already looking for cameras to wave to. As he approaches the second hurdle, he slows down dramatically, remembering he’s “definitely the best at this.”
Meanwhile, George Costanza, whose form is truly abysmal, is already at the first hurdle. Instead of leaping over it, he awkwardly tries to climb over it, getting his legs tangled. His face is a mask of pure panic as he stumbles forward.
The Dalek, continuing its obliteration of every hurdle in its path, crashes through the third one with a resounding clang, continuing its path of mechanical destruction.
Trump, by now, has slowed down so much that the only thing fast about him is his mouth. He’s more concerned with making sure the crowd sees his "amazing" performance than actually clearing the hurdles. By the time he reaches the fourth hurdle, he’s barely jumping over it, and he seems to be narrating his entire life story to anyone within earshot.
Meanwhile, George Costanza, who’s now completely lost in the race, is trying to clear the fifth hurdle, but his momentum is completely off. His entire body is now caught halfway over it.
As the race nears the final hurdles, it’s clear that the Dalek is about to “win” simply by destroying everything in its path. Trump, still far behind, is now taking a victory lap before even reaching the finish line, and George Costanza is stuck on the final hurdle, halfway over it, screaming for help.
Cut to: The Dalek, which has now cleared the final hurdle simply by bulldozing through it. It’s technically “won,” but there’s no one left to care. Trump is still waving to the crowd, and George is yelling out in frustration as his body is caught on the last hurdle.
Cut to: George Costanza, now nearly in tears, still stuck on the final hurdle, muttering to himself.
THE END.
