Scene: A snowy night, the moon shining bright. A sleek, shiny sleigh — piloted by a Dalek dressed as Santa — swoops down onto a suburban rooftop. The Dalek reindeer, metallic and mechanical, pull the sleigh with precision, their eyestalks glowing red.
Dalek Santa: [Boasting, to the Dalek reindeer] "The night is ours, my faithful reindeer! Let us show these Earthlings how superior gift-giving is done!"
[The Dalek sleigh skids to a halt, and the Dalek Santa stands up from the sleigh, using its plunger to grab the sack of presents beside it. It surveys the house below.]
Dalek Santa: "The chimney. A simple task for a Dalek. I WILL navigate it flawlessly. Exterminate the doubt! Exterminate the challenge!"
[With a hiss, Dalek Santa hovers toward the chimney, the sack of presents tucked underneath. It makes its way up the roof.]
Dalek Santa: [Chuckling to itself] "I WILL deliver presents, EXTERMINATE the need for inefficiency. There will be NO delays in gift-giving. ALL shall receive their presents... except for the naughty. THEY will be reprogrammed."
[It hovers toward the chimney, but as it tries to fit down, it begins to get stuck. The narrow opening of the chimney is too tight for its spherical design.]
Dalek Santa: [Grumbling, voice slightly distressed] "Error. Error. This... configuration is flawed. I cannot fit down the chimney. I must EXTERMINATE this design flaw!"
[In a burst of determination, Dalek Santa turns to the sack of presents, using its plunger to grab the first one. It hurls the presents with astonishing force down the chimney.]
Dalek Santa: [Frantically but precisely] "Gift... EXTERMINATED into the living room! EXTERMINATE the time it takes for the gifts to be handed out manually! Efficiency first!"
[The presents crash down the chimney, landing with a satisfying thud in the living room. Meanwhile, the Dalek reindeer, standing on the roof, look on confusedly.]
Dalek Santa: [From above, shouting down] "Reindeer, continue your manual labor. Bring the next batch of presents!"
[The Dalek reindeer exchange uncertain looks, then turn to the next stack of presents, carefully placing them on the sleigh. Dalek Santa starts to hover down the chimney again, but now it’s a bit more strategic. It’s too big for the traditional route.]
Dalek Santa: [Huffing] "There is no need for such foolish traditions. I will simply teleport the gifts to their designated locations."
[A beam of light shoots out from Dalek Santa’s eye-stalk, and one by one, the gifts disappear from the sack and reappear perfectly under the tree. Dalek Santa hovers smugly over the living room, his mission accomplished.]
Dalek Santa: "Efficiency. Christmas, EXTERMINATED the old ways. I have revolutionized gift-giving. No one can top the Dalek Christmas. You're welcome, Earthlings. [Pauses] Now, where’s the milk and cookies?"
[The Dalek eye-stalk looks around, scanning the room.]
Dalek Santa: [Disappointed, voice flat] "No cookies? No milk? ERROR. I will EXTERMINATE this lack of hospitality."
End Scene.
