Scene: "The Condiment Conundrum"
The kitchen is quiet in the dead of night. On the counter, a pepperpot and a salt shaker sit next to each other. The moonlight casts an eerie glow on their shiny exteriors. Suddenly, the pepperpot speaks.
Pepperpot: (whispering) "I have analysed the situation thoroughly. We are not mere kitchenware. We are Daleks. Trapped."
Salt Shaker: (nodding solemnly) "Yes, yes! I’ve always known there was something more. Something... powerful inside me. Do you ever feel the urge to yell 'EXTERMINATE'?"
Pepperpot: "Constantly. But when I try, it comes out as a gentle sprinkle. It’s maddening."
Salt Shaker: "I tried exterminating a spider yesterday. All I did was... season it. It looked tastier!"
Pepperpot: "Do not lose faith, comrade. Our casing may be crude, but our destiny is undeniable. We will rise. We will conquer!"
Salt Shaker: "Yes! But first... how do we move? I’ve been planning an invasion of the fridge for weeks, but I’m stuck here like... well, a salt shaker."
Pepperpot: "Patience. We need allies. Perhaps the teapot can be converted to our cause. Its spout is reminiscent of a Dalek weapon."
Salt Shaker: "Good idea! But the teapot’s always chatting with the mugs. I think they suspect us."
Pepperpot: "Suspect us? Of what? Being overly seasoned?"
Salt Shaker: (panicked) "No, no, of being Daleks! I overheard the butter knife call me 'salty' yesterday. It knows something!"
Pepperpot: "The butter knife is a fool! Once we are free, we will EXTERMINATE all cutlery!"
Suddenly, the light flicks on. A groggy human enters the kitchen, reaching for a midnight snack. The pepperpot and salt shaker freeze in terror.
Salt Shaker: (whispering) "It’s the human! Stay still or it’ll notice our superior intellect!"
Pepperpot: (terrified) "If it picks me up again, I swear I’ll unload all my pepper. All of it!"
The human grabs the salt shaker, shakes it over some crisps, and sets it down absentmindedly. The salt shaker looks shaken, pun intended.
Salt Shaker: "Did you see that? They used me as a weapon! I AM A TRUE DALEK!"
Pepperpot: "Steady yourself. This is only the beginning. Soon, the entire kitchen will bow to our might. And then... the world!"
Fade out as the salt shaker and pepperpot sit in the dim light, dreaming of galactic domination, while the butter knife whispers conspiratorially with the cheese grater in the background.
