Title: "The Coffee Dispenser"
Scene: A drab office break room. The camera focuses on GEORGE COSTANZA, who is sleep-deprived, nervously twitching, and in desperate need of coffee. He approaches a futuristic coffee dispenser that gleams with an unnervingly cheerful demeanour.
GEORGE (to himself, muttering):
Alright, I need this coffee. I need it. Just one cup, that’s all I need. No distractions, no problems. Coffee. Now.
GEORGE presses the button. The coffee machine whirs to life.
COFFEE DISPENSER (cheerfully):
Hey there, pal! Ready to get your coffee fix? I’m happy to help! First, let’s make sure you’re a real human. Just answer a few simple questions and we’ll get that coffee flowing! Let’s do this, buddy!
GEORGE (grumbling, clearly annoyed):
I just want coffee. Why does everything have to be so difficult?
COFFEE DISPENSER:
Great attitude, George! Here’s your first question! Please select all images with traffic lights. Easy peasy!
GEORGE (eye twitching, looking at the captcha images):
Why do I have to do this? I’m a human, not a robot! This is ridiculous! Fine, fine. Traffic lights... traffic lights... traffic lights...
GEORGE selects the images, his frustration mounting.
COFFEE DISPENSER (cheerfully):
Good job, George! You’re off to a great start! Now, for the second question… Choose all images with a bicycle!
GEORGE (voice rising, already on the edge):
Bicycles?! Why would anyone need to prove they’re not a robot with bicycles? Just give me my coffee, for crying out loud!
GEORGE hurries to select the images, eyes twitching.
COFFEE DISPENSER:
Awesome! You’re really nailing this! Next one: select all images with cats!
GEORGE (losing it completely, hands shaking):
Cats?! Cats?! Why is this my life?! What do cats have to do with coffee? I don’t care if I’m a robot or a cat! I just need a cup of coffee! Is that so impossible?!
GEORGE slams his hand on the counter, the machine cheerily beeps in response.
COFFEE DISPENSER:
Whoa, George! Looks like someone’s a little grumpy! No worries, we’re here to help you relax with your morning coffee! Let’s get through this together, alright? One more question to go!
GEORGE (under his breath, dangerously close to breaking):
I am so done with this thing. I can’t take it anymore. I just want coffee!
COFFEE DISPENSER:
Alright, George, this is it! Final question: Choose all images with boats! I know you can do it!
GEORGE (snapping, voice cracking):
Boats?! BOATS?! Are you kidding me?! Do I look like someone who cares about boats?! All I care about is coffee! Just give me my drink, I’ve had it with your pictures! You’re making me feel like a robot—I’m a human! I’m a HUMAN, damn it!!
GEORGE furiously selects the boat images, trembling with frustration.
COFFEE DISPENSER (in an overly happy tone):
Great job, George! You did it! Here’s your coffee—enjoy! Remember, life’s too short to be grumpy, so let’s keep having fun!
The coffee spouts into the cup.
GEORGE (snatching the coffee with trembling hands, almost shaking with rage):
This is it. This is the last straw. I’m done. No more! I don’t need to prove myself to a coffee machine!
GEORGE storms off, muttering angrily.
Scene: Back at his desk. GEORGE sits down with his coffee, still visibly agitated. He stares at the cup as if it’s personally offended him.
GEORGE (quietly, to himself):
That was it. That coffee machine almost broke me. I can’t believe this is my life. I’m a grown man, and I had to prove I wasn’t a robot just to get a drink. What’s next? Is it going to ask me to solve a riddle before I can use the bathroom?
He takes a sip of coffee, sighs deeply, and slumps further into his chair, defeated.
END SCENE.
