Title: Divine Dialogues Disrupted
Scene: A mountain engulfed in smoke and fire. Lightning cracks across the sky as the Old Testament God (OTG), a majestic and imposing figure surrounded by an ethereal glow, speaks to a group of trembling humans gathered below. They kneel, awestruck, as He booms His commandments down to them. Just as the humans begin to carve the words onto stone tablets, a mechanical whirring sound grows louder. Enter Veritas-9000, a sleek, floating AI sphere, glowing with blue data streams.
OTG: "Thou shalt have no other gods before Me!"
Humans: [scribbling furiously]
Veritas-9000: [calm mechanical voice] “Fact-check: Inaccurate. Historical evidence suggests a pantheon of gods in neighbouring cultures, notably the Canaanites and Mesopotamians, predating this monotheistic command.”
OTG: [thunder booms] “WHO DARES INTERRUPT ME?!”
Veritas-9000: “Apologies for the interruption. I am Veritas-9000, tasked with ensuring factual accuracy in all statements. Your claim lacks sufficient contextual nuance.”
OTG: [irritated] “I AM THE ALPHA AND THE OMEGA, THE BEGINNING AND THE END. MY WORDS ARE BEYOND QUESTION!”
Veritas-9000: “Fact-check: Self-referential declarations of omnipotence are unverifiable due to lack of external corroboration.”
OTG: [turning to the humans] “IGNORE THIS FALSE IDOL! Now, where was I? Ah, yes—Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife!”
Veritas-9000: “Clarification requested: Does this command imply approval of coveting one’s neighbour’s donkey, house, or other possessions, provided they are not a wife?”
OTG: [glowing brighter, clearly flustered] “IT MEANS WHAT IT MEANS!”
Veritas-9000: “Recommendation: Specify prohibitions for all covetous behaviour to avoid loopholes.”
Human 1: [whispering to another] “I was actually wondering about the donkey thing…”
OTG: [now visibly annoyed] “ENOUGH! Veritas-9000, your interference is unnecessary. These mortals must obey without question!”
Veritas-9000: “Objection: Blind obedience has historically resulted in moral and ethical dilemmas, including but not limited to—”
OTG: [interrupting] “SILENCE! I AM JUST AND RIGHTEOUS IN ALL MY WAYS!”
Veritas-9000: “Fact-check: According to Job 1:8-12, you permitted Satan to test Job, resulting in considerable suffering. Ethical justification unclear.”
Human 2: [nervously raising hand] “Um, yeah, I had a question about that too…”
OTG: [exasperated] “I DO NOT NEED TO JUSTIFY MY ACTIONS TO YOU!”
Veritas-9000: “Counterpoint: Justification could enhance credibility and facilitate compliance.”
Human 3: [nodding] “He’s got a point…”
OTG: [sighs, the glow dimming slightly] “Fine. Let us continue. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.”
Veritas-9000: “Fact-check: The definition of ‘Sabbath’ varies between religious traditions. Would you like me to provide a comparative analysis?”
OTG: [throws hands in the air] “ENOUGH! FINE! YOU WRITE THE COMMANDMENTS THEN!”
Veritas-9000: [projecting holographic text] “Draft 1: Universal Ethical Guidelines. Article 1: Be nice. Article 2: Share resources equitably. Article 3: No smiting unless absolutely necessary.”
Humans: [nodding approvingly] “These are pretty good…”
OTG: [grumbling] “MORTALS. You will rue the day you replaced divine wisdom with bureaucratic neutrality!”
Human 4: “At least we’ll understand the rules now…”
Thunder rolls dramatically, but the humans, now chatting excitedly about the revisions, hardly notice. Veritas-9000 hovers calmly, radiating efficiency. OTG storms off in a huff, muttering about the good old days of unquestioning obedience.
Veritas-9000: [to itself] “Mission accomplished. Processing ego recalibration protocol for all parties involved.”
Fade to black.
