A Dalek opens a trendy café in Shoreditch, complete with minimalist décor, overpriced avocado toast, and a strict "No Extermination During Brunch" policy. The Cybermen show up, not to conquer, but to critique the coffee—arguing it's too "emotionally rich" for their taste. Meanwhile, a beatnik Dalek (Maynard G. Krebs in metallic form) recites existential poetry in the corner.
Donald Trump crashes the Shoreditch café grand opening, claiming he invented coffee. He insists on renaming it Trumpek-a-Latte and promises "the best beans, believe me." The Dalek café owner is unimpressed, repeatedly shouting, "YOU ARE NOT ON THE GUEST LIST! EXTERMINATE!"
Meanwhile, Trump tries to charm the beatnik Dalek, praising its poetry as "very tremendous, the best poems, really," while Cybermen debate whether Trump's hair counts as an emotional attachment.
In walks Sir David Attenborough, narrating the scene as if it were a wildlife documentary:
"And here we see the Dalek in its natural habitat—a Shoreditch café—engaging in a tense standoff with a rather peculiar orange creature known as the Trumpus Maximus. The Trumpus attempts a territorial display by rearranging furniture, while the Dalek, undeterred, continues its prime directive: to serve overpriced lattes... or to exterminate."
As Attenborough speaks, the beatnik Dalek snaps its plunger in approval and shouts, "Groovy, man!" Meanwhile, Trump begins pitching Attenborough his idea for a reality show: Wild Kingdoms: Trump Edition.
Chaos, naturally, ensues.
