Trumpworld: The Golden Corn Dog Era
Mar-a-Lago has become the White House by default. In a gaudy Mar-a-Lago office, Trump lounges on a gold-plated throne, staring at a map showing only the Midwest and South under his control. Elon Musk, his top advisor and enthusiastic cheerleader, stands nearby holding a blueprint titled Trump’s Freedom Future.
Trump:
“Elon, we’ve got a problem. Big problem. Huge. The coasts? Gone. New York? Gone. California? Never liked it. Too much tofu. Sad! But now, it’s just me and the real America: the Midwest and the South. The best parts, everyone says so.” What do they need to stay... tremendous?”
Elon:
(grinning)
“Sir, they need inspiration! A symbol of greatness! I propose... a giant golden corn dog statue in Alabama. One hundred feet tall, with your face carved into the batter. We’ll call it The Monument to Greatness.”
Trump:
(clapping)
“Brilliant! The Corn Dog of Freedom! They’ll love it. But it needs more. Lights, music, maybe a built-in Ferris wheel.”
Elon:
“Absolutely, sir. And in Kansas, I suggest the Trump Tractor. It plays your speeches while they plough. Farmers will worship you.”
Trump:
(grinning wider)
“Fantastic! But what about Mississippi?”
Elon:
“An all-in-one Chicken Coop Casino! They can bet on bingo and leave with fresh eggs. We’ll call it Trump's Coop of Opportunity!”
Trump:
“Genius, Elon. You’re the best. But make it gold—everything’s better in gold.”
As Elon nods fervently, already sketching a MAGA-shaped solar farm for Tennessee, Trump leans back, smug. The dwindling union might be falling apart, but under his reign, it will be the most ridiculous—and golden—era of history.
