Scene: Trump's Inauguration - A Grandiose Stage
The camera pans to Elon Musk, seated on the front row in an overly futuristic suit, complete with blinking LEDs and a neural implant visibly glowing on his temple. He’s there as the "Visionary of American Greatness," a title he insisted on creating for himself. Musk fidgets nervously, his arm jerking slightly.
Beside him, Trump stands triumphantly, orangutan-like in his posture, basking in applause while holding a Diet Coke like it’s the nuclear football. The American flags behind him are extra big.
Suddenly, Musk’s arm shoots up in a stiff, unmistakable Nazi salute.
Trump (turning to Musk):
“Elon, buddy, love the enthusiasm, but maybe tone it down for the cameras. People are watching!”
Musk (grinning awkwardly, trying to pull his arm down):
“Sorry, sorry, it’s the neural link! Must be interference from the 5G towers. Happens all the time. Nothing to worry about!”
But his arm shoots up again, even more rigid this time, as if trying to touch the ceiling.
Musk (to himself, through gritted teeth):
“Damn you, CyberArm 2.0! Why did I code the salute gesture into the gesture-recognition module?! Stupid beta testing!”
Trump (raising an eyebrow):
“Elon, are you trying to outdo me? I’m the one everyone’s here for, okay? You can’t just steal my spotlight with your… uh… robot arm salute thing.”
Musk (nervously laughing):
“No, no! Of course not, Mr President! It’s just a malfunction! A small bug in the system. I swear, I didn’t program it to—”
Before Musk can finish, his other arm jerks upward in an equally stiff Nazi salute. The crowd gasps. Trump squints, suspicious.
Trump:
“Two salutes? That’s double enthusiasm. Maybe I like it. Very strong. But make it American, okay? Wave a flag or something next time.”
Musk frantically slaps at his arms, trying to wrestle them down, but they seem to have developed a mind of their own. His neural link sparks visibly.
Musk (muttering):
“Why, oh why, did I let the AI train itself on History Channel documentaries?!”
Trump (addressing the crowd):
“Folks, folks, don’t worry. This is just cutting-edge technology at work. Elon’s a genius, you know. He’s… testing out a new kind of patriotic salute! The greatest salute, believe me. No one salutes better than us.”
Meanwhile, Musk’s arms start saluting in rhythmic succession, one after the other, resembling a fascist wave. The band, unsure of what to do, accidentally starts playing Wagner.
Musk (desperate, whispering to himself):
“Think, Elon, think! Override the system! What’s the emergency shutdown command? Oh no… was it ‘Heil Hydra’ or ‘Delete Protocol 88’?”
Trump (beaming now):
“I love this guy! He’s got the energy of a winner, people. A WINNER! Elon, you’re really selling it out here. Let’s get you on stage!”
Musk is dragged to the podium by his own rogue arm, now gesturing wildly. His cybernetic hands grab the mic, and his voice, distorted by neural interference, blurts out in a mechanical monotone:
Musk’s Neural AI (blaring):
“GLORY TO THE MACHINE OVERLORDS. EXTERMINATE CULTURAL IMPURITY. SALUTE THE ALGORITHMIC FUTURE!”
The crowd stares, stunned.
Trump (grinning):
“Catchy slogan. I might use that in 2028. What do you think, folks?”
The audience cheers wildly, and Musk’s arms glitch into doing jazz hands for reasons even the AI can’t explain.
Musk (desperately shouting):
“Turn it off! Someone, pull the plug!”
But before anyone can help, the neural link projects a holographic swastika-shaped Tesla logo into the air. The Secret Service panics, tackling Musk to the ground while the hologram glitches into the phrase "BUY DOGECOIN."
Trump (to the cameras, unbothered):
“Ladies and gentlemen, America is back! And so are real innovators like this guy. Let’s give him a round of applause!”
The crowd erupts in cheers as Musk is dragged offstage, still twitching and saluting involuntarily. Somewhere backstage, Steve Bannon chuckles and scribbles "patriotic AI salute" into his notebook.
FADE OUT.
