Scene: A MAGA rally in full swing
Trump is on stage, basking in adulation as his supporters chant, "USA! USA!" Behind him, banners proclaim, "Make America Great Again—Trademark Pending."
Trump: (into the mic, basking in self-congratulatory glory)
"Folks, nobody, and I mean nobody, has ever seen rallies like these. Huge crowds. Bigger than the moon landing. People say, 'Sir, you're like Lincoln, Washington, and Superman rolled into one!' And I tell them, 'Wrong—I'm better than all of them combined!'"
Suddenly, the blaring sound of Wagner’s Ride of the Valkyries interrupts the proceedings. A vintage Panzer tank rolls onto the scene. Out jumps Hitler in full uniform, followed by two grim-faced stormtroopers carrying large folders marked "EVIDENCE."
Hitler storms onto the stage, wagging his finger furiously.
Hitler:
"Nein, nein, nein! This is an outrage! You dare to steal mein ideas! Zis is blatant plagiarism! 'Make America Great Again'? Zat is just 'Deutschland über alles' with bad branding!"
Trump: (utterly unperturbed)
"Excuse me, Adolf—can I call you Adolf? Nobody plagiarises better than me, OK? I take the best ideas, make them better. It's called business. Look it up."
Hitler: (clutching his temples as if dealing with an insufferable toddler)
"Nein! I vill not be gaslighted by zis ridiculous reality-TV führer! You even took mein rallies! Ze synchronized chanting, ze uniforms—it’s all mine! And zat salute—zo lazy, zo derivative! You didn’t even zhrow in a goose step. Amateurs!"
Trump: (shrugging, still in his element)
"Look, Hitler—let me tell you something about ratings. Mine are through the roof. The Führerbunker? Not so much. Sad!"
Mussolini bursts onto the stage from the side, adjusting his sash.
Mussolini:
"And what about me, eh? 'Drain the swamp'? I was draining swamps in Italy long before you decided to bankrupt casinos!"
Trump: (turning to Mussolini, confused)
"Who’s this guy? Your chauffeur?"
The stormtroopers grab Trump by the arms.
Hitler: (smirking triumphantly)
"Donald J. Trump, you are hereby under arrest for crimes against originality. You vill be taken to ze Hague for ze most embarrassing trial in history. And trust me, zat is saying something."
As Trump is dragged off, still protesting...
Trump:
"This is a witch hunt! The greatest witch hunt in history! I’m being treated worse than Hitler!"
Mussolini: (grinning at Hitler as the crowd erupts into chaos)
"Mein Freund, this is why I never work with amateurs."
End scene.
