Scene: A Dimly Lit Office Break Room
The Reverse Speaker stands before a futuristic vending machine. It’s sleek, shiny, and obnoxiously over-engineered. Instead of just taking coins or a card, it requires users to pass increasingly complex CAPTCHA tests.
Vending Machine: [Cheerfully robotic] “Welcome! To access snacks, please confirm you are human. Select all images containing bicycles.”
Reverse Speaker: [Squinting at the screen, mutters] “bicycles... containing images all select must I...”
The Reverse Speaker selects all the wrong tiles—deliberately, it seems. A smug grin spreads across its face.
Vending Machine: “Verification failed. Try again!”
Reverse Speaker: [Nods sagely] “fail must sometimes... forward move to backward step a take must one.”
Enter George Costanza
George storms in, clearly hungry and irritable.
George: [Throws up his hands] “What is with this vending machine? I just want a Snickers! Why is it asking me to prove I’m human? I’m standing right here!”
Reverse Speaker: [Glancing at George] “human are you... prove must you too.”
George: “Oh, not you again! You’re the backwards guy! Look, buddy, I’m not in the mood for your cryptic riddles. Just pick your snack and get out of my way!”
Vending Machine: “Select all images containing traffic lights.”
George sighs and jabs at the screen, missing a light in the corner.
Vending Machine: “Verification failed. Try again!”
George: “FAILED?! I’M STARVING! THIS MACHINE IS TRYING TO KILL ME!”
Reverse Speaker: [Calmly] “machine the against rage your control must... snack your receive to.”
George: [Glares] “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”
The Reverse Speaker’s Turn
The Reverse Speaker steps forward.
Vending Machine: “Please type the text you see in the image.”
The screen displays a garbled CAPTCHA code: xr7TfJ8nL.
Reverse Speaker: [Speaking aloud as they type backwards] “L-n-8-J-f-T-7-r-x... perfect is this.”
Vending Machine: “Verification failed. Try again!”
Reverse Speaker: [Unfazed] “again try I will... time this fail not shall I.”
George grabs his head in frustration.
George: “Oh, for crying out loud! You can’t just keep failing on purpose! Who even are you?!”
Reverse Speaker: [Mysteriously] “you know not must... mystery the in resides truth the.”
Kramer Joins the Fray
Kramer bursts into the break room with his trademark slide.
Kramer: “Whoa, whoa, whoa—what’s the holdup here? You guys fighting over snacks? Let me handle this!”
Kramer leans in close to the vending machine, studying it.
Kramer: “You gotta vibe with the machine, fellas. Let it know you’re cool. Watch this.”
He casually selects the wrong images, leans back confidently, and the machine... approves his selection.
Vending Machine: “Verification successful. Please enjoy your snack.”
George: [Jaw drops] “WHAT?! How did you—how did he—”
Reverse Speaker: [In awe] “truth the found has he... mind his freed has Kramer.”
Kramer: [Grabs his snack and shrugs] “It’s all about confidence, boys. Oh, and uh, never pick the corner pieces. They’re traps.”
End Scene
George spirals into existential despair, the Reverse Speaker mutters backwards wisdom, and Kramer walks out munching on a bag of chips.
