Trump, dressed in a robe of gold (naturally), enters Solomon’s grand court with the usual swagger. He looks around, impressed but quick to assert his authority.
Trump: “Solly, listen, I’ve been around. They say you’re a wise guy, but I’ve seen some stuff. Believe me, I know wisdom. You’re doing great with the whole ‘wisdom of Solomon’ thing, but I’m going to tell you something. People are talking, and they say you could use a little Trump flair in your decision-making.”
Solomon looks at him, mildly amused but unfazed by the interruption. “And what exactly do you mean, my friend?”
Trump: “Look, you’re famous for splitting babies, right? Big decision, very dramatic. But let’s be honest—there’s a better way. Instead of cutting the baby in half, why not renovate the situation? I’m talking full-on renovation. A ‘bigly’ new approach. You give both women a mansion, a big one, the best mansions—believe me, they’ll be happy.”
Solomon raises an eyebrow. “I see. But how does that solve the problem of the dispute?”
Trump: “Ah, well, you don’t get it, Sol. You see, you’re focused on the details. That’s your problem. People love drama, but what they really want is stability. You give them an empire! You could make so much money with the right marketing. The baby doesn’t matter, but the brand—that’s where the value is.”
Solomon frowns, clearly not impressed, and leans back on his throne. “But, what about true justice, fairness? What about the heart of wisdom?”
Trump: “Look, justice is great and all, but have you thought about branding your wisdom? Maybe put out a line of Solomon-branded robes or mugs. People love mugs. Trust me, I’ve done focus groups. You want everyone to know how smart you are? Get the name out there, slap it on everything!”
Solomon: “I believe wisdom speaks for itself. You cannot brand the heart of true judgment.”
Trump: “You’re missing the point, Sol. You’ve got to make it yuge—make wisdom a lifestyle. I know about branding, you don’t. And I’ve got the best team. Everyone says so.”
Solomon: (quietly) “Perhaps I should stick to the judgment of hearts and not the market’s desires.”
