Scene: The Creation of Adam
[The cosmic void is alive with possibilities. Elohim stands at the center, preparing to create humanity. With a wave of the hand, the dust of the earth begins to form, shaping into a man. Elohim focuses intently, shaping this figure with divine precision.]
Elohim: (Softly, with cosmic reverence) "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. This... this will be the pinnacle of creation."
[The figure of Adam takes shape, and as Elohim breathes life into him, the dust stirs. But something is off—Adam’s form begins to shift, his features changing subtly. Elohim blinks, then freezes as the face becomes unmistakably familiar.]
Trump: (Suddenly gasps for air and stands up, looking around) "Wow. I gotta say, I look fantastic. Nobody looks better than me. Not even God could make anyone better than me. I mean, look at this—total winner. What a tremendous... look. Believe me."
Elohim: (Eyes narrowing, taking a step back) "What... What is this? This is not the plan. This is not the image I intended."
Trump: (Pats his hair, smoothing it down with a confident grin) "Oh, you’re right. This is the best look. It’s a perfect look. They’ll talk about this hair for thousands of years, you’ll see. They’ll say, ‘Best hair ever. Total winner.’"
Elohim: (Staring, disbelieving) "This was supposed to be... Adam. Not—"
Trump: (Interrupting, proudly puffing out his chest) "You’re welcome, by the way. You needed a strong leader, and I just happened to be available. I’m the best at everything, so it only makes sense I’d be the first one. First in the garden, first with the best fruits, and definitely the first in making deals. Big deals. You know, I’ve got the best garden plans—trust me, nobody does it better."
Elohim: (Sighing deeply, rubbing temples) "This... is not what I had in mind. Adam was meant to be... pure. Humble. Not... not this."
Trump: (Not listening, now inspecting the garden around him) "Okay, okay. This garden? Fine, I guess, but we’re gonna need more gold in here. Gold apples, gold leaves. Everything needs to shine. People love gold, and, you know, I’ve got the best gold. They’ll never see anything like it."
Elohim: (Throwing up hands in frustration) "Why... why is it always gold with you?! This garden isn’t about gold!"
Trump: (Ignoring Elohim’s exasperation, he spots a fruit tree and plucks an apple) "Okay, listen, I’m not sure about this fruit. It’s a little... dull, you know? Let’s make it shiny. I’ve got a factory for that. We’ll make the best apples—everyone will want them. Trust me."
Elohim: (At this point, just trying to hold it together) "I didn’t create you to... manipulate creation. You were meant to live in harmony with the world."
Trump: "Harmony? Look, I’m all for harmony. But we gotta make some big moves, alright? Big moves! You ever heard of a luxury garden? I’m talking about five-star Eden. People will come from miles away to see it."
Elohim: (Massaging temples, frustration mounting) "You are the first human. And you are already ruining everything. You’re not even Adam—you’re not even close. You’re more like a... a... walking business venture!"
Trump: (Shrugging) "Yeah, yeah, I’m Adam, alright? Don’t get all fancy with the names. Look, I’ll be a great first man. I know how to get things done. You need anything, I’ll make it happen. By the way, are we getting credit for this whole creation thing, or is this just a freebie?"
Elohim: (Loses composure, raising voice) "This was not a freebie! This was supposed to be the beginning of the human race—a peaceful, harmonious life in the garden! Not—this!"
Trump: (Glances around casually, then points to Eve, who is also forming nearby) "Alright, alright, there’s Eve. Great. I’ll have her sign a pre-nup. You know, just in case. Don’t want any surprises later. It’s all about protecting the brand."
Elohim: (Loud enough to shake the heavens) "THERE IS NO BRAND, TRUMP! THIS IS ABOUT LIFE! ABOUT EXISTENCE! NOT ABOUT DEALS!"
[Elohim pauses, taking a deep breath, realising the situation is beyond repair.]
Elohim: (With a resigned sigh) "Fine. Fine. You know what? You want gold? Deals? Fine. But there will be no more creation today. You are the beginning of humanity, and I’ve created you with the absolute worst possible start. Good luck."
[The first hint of a smirk appears on Trump’s face as he walks toward the newly-formed Eve.]
Trump: (Confidently, turning back to Elohim) "Trust me, it’s going to be huge. I’m gonna make this garden the best garden anyone’s ever seen. Total success. Believe me."
[Elohim steps back, waves a hand in frustration, and disappears into the cosmic void, leaving Trump—still admiring himself in a reflective pool—standing in the middle of the garden.]
End Scene.
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