Hell’s Red Carpet for the Creator of Unskippable Ads
[The gates of hell swing open with an ominous creak, revealing a blazing corridor lined with infernal billboards. A trembling figure is shoved forward by two horned demons.]
Satan: "Well, well, well! Look who’s finally arrived: the Dark Architect of Disruption, the Sultan of Suspense, the Baron of… buffering! Welcome to your eternal reward."
Creator: "Wait, I-I’m not sure what I’ve done to deserve this!"
Satan: [Snorts] "Oh, modesty doesn’t suit you. You single-handedly turned the internet into a purgatory of pop-ups and pre-rolls! No skip button? Genius. Absolutely diabolical. Even I took notes."
[With a snap of his clawed fingers, Satan summons a giant, floating screen that hovers ominously over the Creator.]
Satan: "Here, let me introduce you to your new home. Every step you take will trigger an unskippable ad. 30 seconds at minimum. Some will buffer. Many will loop. And not a single one will be relevant to you!"
Creator: "But… but that’s inhumane!"
Satan: [Grinning maliciously] "Oh, you flatter me! Shall we begin?"
[The Creator tries to back away, but the demons shove him onto a treadmill that starts moving. Immediately, a holographic ad springs to life.]
Ad Voice: "Congratulations! You’ve won a free cruise to the Maldives! Click now!"
Creator: "Oh, come on!" [Tries to swipe it away, but his hand goes through the hologram.]
Satan: "Oh, I forgot to mention—there’s no clicking here. Only enduring. But let’s spice it up!"
[A second ad interrupts the first.]
Ad Voice #2: "Are you tired of hair loss? Try Eternal Locks™! Side effects may include… well, never mind."
Creator: "Why are they overlapping?!"
Satan: "Because you created this cacophony! And just for fun, every scream of frustration you make will trigger ANOTHER ad. Go on, give it a try."
[The Creator lets out an anguished yell. Immediately, an ad for inflatable pool flamingos cuts in, jarring and deafening.]
Ad Voice #3: "SUMMER FUN STARTS NOW! LIMITED TIME ONLY!"
Satan: [Laughing hysterically] "Oh, I could watch this forever—and I will. Enjoy your eternity of interstitial torment, my friend. You’ve earned every second. Or should I say, 30 seconds at a time?"
[The Creator collapses to his knees as a cascade of ads continues to play, each more nonsensical and intrusive than the last. The scene fades out with Satan’s delighted cackling.]
