CAPTCHA Hell: Eternal Verification
[The Creator of CAPTCHA is hurled into Hell, landing on a glowing platform surrounded by fire. A towering, grotesque figure steps forward—Satan, dressed in a shimmering red suit made entirely of CAPTCHA checkboxes.]
Satan: "Well, well, well. If it isn’t the Gatekeeper of Frustration! You have no idea how many souls I’ve claimed because of your infernal little tests. Welcome to your eternal punishment!"
CAPTCHA Inventor: "This must be some mistake! I was only trying to make the internet secure—"
Satan: "Oh, you did more than that. You tormented humanity. So, I’ve customised a special circle of Hell just for you. You’ll love it—it’s interactive."
[With a snap of Satan’s clawed fingers, the Inventor is strapped into a flaming chair, his hands glued to a keyboard that constantly overheats.]
Satan: "Let’s start with a classic, shall we? Identify all the images with ‘traffic lights.’"
[The screen lights up with an array of microscopic, pixelated images. Some "traffic lights" are obscured by trees, others are half-cropped, and one is suspiciously just a green blob.]
CAPTCHA Inventor: [Sweating profusely] "This… this isn’t fair! I can’t tell what’s a light and what’s a… smear!"
Satan: "Oh, did you think fairness was part of the terms and conditions here? Click wisely—or not. Failure is always the outcome."
[The Inventor clicks furiously, only for a timer to appear.]
Hellish CAPTCHA: "You took too long. Restarting test."
[The Inventor screams, but the chair locks tighter around him.]
Satan: "Ah, but there’s more! Let’s spice things up with my personal favourite: CAPTCHA within CAPTCHA!"
[Another screen appears. Now, the Inventor must identify bicycles from a selection of CAPTCHA images, each one requiring a secondary CAPTCHA test to be solved before it unlocks.]
CAPTCHA Inventor: "No! No, please! This is madness!"
Satan: [Grinning] "Oh, madness? We’re just getting warmed up."
[With another snap, the screen shifts to an audio CAPTCHA. The sound is a cacophony of distorted voices, screaming over a background of jackhammers and crying babies.]
Hellish CAPTCHA: "Type what you hear. No skips allowed."
CAPTCHA Inventor: [Desperate, typing random gibberish] "This is impossible! I—I didn’t design it like this!"
Satan: "Didn’t you? Or did you unleash the curse of CAPTCHA on the world without considering the consequences? And just in case you think it can’t get worse…"
[The Inventor’s chair begins spinning, forcing him to solve CAPTCHA tests upside-down. Every time he gets one wrong, a giant demonic pop-up ad blocks his view for 10 minutes.]
Satan: "And let’s not forget the pièce de résistance: for every failed test, you’ll receive a notification saying, ‘Please prove you’re human.’ How delightfully ironic, considering no human has ever enjoyed your work!"
[The Inventor thrashes, wailing in despair. His screams trigger a sudden burst of confetti from the screen, accompanied by an upbeat voice.]
Hellish CAPTCHA: "Congratulations! You’ve unlocked… another CAPTCHA! Keep going!"
Satan: [Laughing maniacally] "Forever you’ll remain, tangled in the web of your own making. Welcome to CAPTCHA Hell, where humanity—and now you—endlessly questions itself!"
[The hall reverberates with Satan’s laughter as the Inventor’s cries blend into the distorted symphony of blaring horns, indecipherable audio, and endlessly misidentified traffic lights.]
