Scene: The same dimly lit cave. Reg, Stan (Loretta), and Judith are arguing about banners when a Dalek glides into the room, its eyestalk swivelling to survey the group. The air is filled with tense silence.
Reg: (Rubbing his temples) “What... what the bloody hell is that?”
Dalek: “I SEEK TO JOIN YOUR RESISTANCE MOVEMENT. I WILL EX-TER-MI-NATE OPPRESSION!”
Judith: (Leaning in) “Wow, a Dalek! This could be a game-changer, Reg. Look at its armour! It’s perfect for taking on the Romans.”
Reg: “Hang on a minute! Let’s not be hasty. We’ve got a vetting process for a reason. What’s your name, then?”
Dalek: “DESIGNATION: DA-LEK #7422. I AM A SUPREME WAR MACHINE.”
Stan/Loretta: “Bit formal. Can we call you, uh, Dalek Dave?”
Dalek: (Eyestalk swivelling aggressively) “I AM NOT ‘DAVE.’ I AM DALEK! I AM SUPREME!”
Reg: “Right, right. Supreme or not, we’ve got questions. First off, why do you want to join the People’s Front of Judea?”
Dalek: “I SEEK TO EX-TER-MI-NATE ALL SYSTEMS OF DOMINATION AND CONTROL. THIS INCLUDES THE ROMAN EMPIRE.”
Reg: “Right, sounds promising. But, uh, when you say ‘exterminate,’ what exactly do you mean?”
Dalek: “TO OBLITERATE. TO ANNIHILATE. TO REDUCE TO NON-EXISTENCE.”
Reg: (Looking worried) “See, that’s the thing. We’re more about overthrowing, not obliterating. Bit less messy.”
Judith: “But Reg, think of the possibilities! A Dalek could scare the Romans off in no time.”
Stan/Loretta: “And look at its built-in plunger. Perfect for making banners.”
Dalek: “BANNERS ARE IRRELEVANT! RESISTANCE REQUIRES EXTERMINATION.”
Reg: “Now, wait just a bloody minute! We’re not barbarians. We’ve got standards. We discuss, we debate, we hand out leaflets. What’s your stance on peaceful protest?”
Dalek: (Pauses) “PEACE IS INEFFICIENT. EXTERMINATION IS ABSOLUTE.”
Judith: “Well, maybe we could channel that energy? You know, direct it toward something constructive.”
Dalek: “CONSTRUCTIVE TASKS ARE IRRELEVANT! ONLY EXTERMINATION MATTERS!”
Reg: (Throws his hands in the air) “This is bloody ridiculous. We can’t let a trigger-happy pepper pot join the movement!”
Dalek: (Glides forward menacingly) “ARE YOU REJECTING THE DALEK?”
Reg: (Stands his ground) “Yes, I bloody am! You’re too extreme, even for us.”
Dalek: (Pauses, then slowly retreats) “VERY WELL. I WILL SEEK ALLIANCE WITH THE JUDEAN PEOPLE’S FRONT.”
Stan/Loretta: “Splitters.”
Judith: (Wistfully) “I still think it could’ve been a valuable asset.”
Reg: “Valuable asset?! It wanted to exterminate everything! You know what, Judith? This is why we don’t let anyone in without proper vetting!”
Dalek: (From outside the cave, its voice echoing ominously) “EX-TER-MI-NATE ALL SPLITTERS!”
Reg: (Looking out) “Well, at least it’s consistent.”
