Scenario: Frank Drebin Checks In to Fawlty Towers
(Frank Drebin walks into the lobby of Fawlty Towers, looking around with an air of self-assurance, though his gaze flickers between the guests, unable to focus properly.)
Frank: (in a deep, serious tone) “I’ll take the best room you’ve got. And don’t try to pull a fast one on me—I’m a cop, a really good cop.”
Basil: (eye twitching) “A cop, you say? You mean a real cop, not one of those little kids with a plastic badge from the toy store?”
Frank: (completely missing the sarcasm) “No, sir. I’m a serious cop. You might have heard of me. Frank Drebin, Police Squad! I stopped a bombing attempt last Tuesday… by mistake.”
Basil: “Right. So, are you on vacation, or... have you come here to arrest the roaches?”
Frank: “I don’t know. There’s something funny about this place. It doesn’t sit right with me. And I don’t like the way you’re looking at me.”
Basil: (raising an eyebrow) “I haven’t looked at you at all, you buffoon. I’m trying to figure out why you’re standing like that.”
(Frank, still holding an air of absolute seriousness, straightens his tie and pats his holster as though he’s about to spring into action.)
Frank: “I’m watching for signals. You’d be surprised how many criminals wear funny hats and make suspicious hand gestures.”
Basil: (deadpan) “Right. I’ll just make a note of that in case we get any robbers dressed as clowns.”
Frank: (seriously studying Basil’s face) “I don’t trust you. Are you working for the Russians? Because I’ve got some friends at the agency who—”
Manuel: (peeking out from the kitchen, terrified) “Russians? Where?”
Frank: “Not literally Russians. Just... uh, possible spies.”
Manuel: (looking visibly nervous, steps back into the kitchen and mutters to himself in Spanish) “Ay, Dios mio.”
Basil: (snapping) “He’s not a spy, you’re not a cop, and I’m not your personal butler. What do you actually want here?”
Frank: (completely unfazed) “I’ll just take a nice, quiet room. If anyone comes in with a strange accent, I’ll be ready. You can never be too cautious.”
Basil: (muttering to himself as he checks in Frank) “I should’ve stayed in bed today...”
