[Scene 1: Elohim Creates Light... Too Much Light]
Elohim snaps His fingers. BOOM! Everything is blindingly white.
Elohim: "Let there be light—oh dear, that’s a bit much, isn’t it?"
Archangel Gabriel stumbles in wearing oversized sunglasses.
Gabriel: "Boss, I think you just nuked the concept of shadows."
Production Assistant frantically fiddles with a giant cosmic dimmer switch, muttering about "blowing the budget on stardust."
[Scene 2: Animals Gone Wild]
Elohim: "Let’s create animals, but, uh, make them... interesting!"
A giraffe appears with no neck. A lion roars but sounds like a squeaky toy.
Michael (snorting): "What’s the platypus supposed to be? Is this a prank?"
Elohim gestures vaguely, trying to look confident.
Elohim: "It’s... postmodern."
[Scene 3: Black Hole Mishap]
Elohim: "Let’s spice up the galaxy with a black hole here and... uh-oh."
The black hole immediately sucks up a nearby star, along with Raphael’s clipboard.
Raphael: "That was my notes for Saturn! Now it’s just going to be a gas blob!"
Elohim shrugs. "Eh, rings are overrated anyway."
[Scene 4: Gravity Fails Its Test]
A celestial body wobbles awkwardly in space before flying off-screen like a beach ball.
Elohim: "Hmm, maybe I should’ve beta-tested gravity first."
Gabriel (deadpan): "Yeah, we’re going to have planets bumping into each other like cosmic bumper cars."
[Scene 5: Day-Night Swap Disaster]
The Sun rises in the west and sets in the north. The Moon blinks on and off like a disco ball.
Gabriel (grinning): "Do you want me to call this one 'experimental lighting'?"
Elohim: glares "Just fix it before someone invents calendars!"
[Scene 6: The Cosmic Outtakes Montage]
- Elohim sneezes and accidentally creates a second Milky Way.
- Gabriel trips over a supernova, landing in a nebula.
- A small, unassuming galaxy is labelled "Reserved for Future Mistakes."
- Michael and Raphael try to untangle the concept of time. It ends in a cosmic knot.
[Closing Scene]
Elohim sighs, wiping His brow, while Gabriel tries to explain to the camera crew that they’re “still on track for a seven-day delivery...ish.”
Gabriel: "It’s fine! No one’s going to notice a few irregularities in the space-time continuum."
Production Assistant (off-screen): whispering "Uh, boss? You just left Venus spinning backwards..."
Fade to black. Cue celestial laughter and theme music: "This Little Light of Mine."
