Sexy Bingo Night at Castle Anthrax
The Great Hall is lit with flickering candles, casting suggestive shadows on the walls. Zoot stands at the front in a sequinned bingo caller's outfit—complete with feathered epaulettes—clutching a golden bingo cage that’s suspiciously squeaky.
“Ladies and gentlemen, maidens and miscreants, welcome to Sexy Bingo Night!” she coos. “Tonight’s grand prize is a mystery box!” She gestures dramatically to a velvet-covered chest. Its contents? Nobody knows. But it’s vibrating ominously.
The crowd is packed with the usual suspects:
- Frank and Estelle (dragged along because they thought it was regular bingo).
- Satan (fresh off his apron heist and inexplicably wearing sequinned devil horns).
- Elon Musk (back in his chimney sweep outfit because apparently, that’s a thing now).
- And, of course, Cerberus, sitting in the corner with one head drooling on the bingo cards.
Zoot spins the cage dramatically. “Our first number is... O-69!” She winks exaggeratedly. The crowd groans.
Frank shouts, “Can we just play the game? Enough with the gimmicks!”
Satan raises his claw. “Bingo is all gimmick, Frank. Let her have her fun.”
The next number: “B-52! Like the bomber. Sexy, no?”
Elon chimes in. “I’ve got a prototype of a B-52-sized drone. It’s solar-powered. Wanna trade for the mystery box?”
“Not now, Elon!” Zoot snaps.
Things spiral when someone (probably Satan) starts heckling Estelle for marking the wrong number. Frank stands up, ready for a fight, and somehow Cerberus ends up eating half the bingo balls.
The climax? Zoot finally reveals the contents of the mystery box: a small, slightly melted chocolate fountain and a cursed karaoke machine that only plays Barry Manilow songs.
“Sexy and terrifying,” Zoot declares proudly.
And as the night dissolves into chaos, Zoot raises a glass of wine, clearly pleased. “Another smashing success!”
