Scene: Frankenstein’s Lab—The Monstrous Reboot
(Dr. Frankenstein stands before his creation, Trump, who is now fully animated but lounging on a golden chaise longue, eating cheeseburgers while wearing an oversized MAGA robe. The lab is cluttered with failed prototypes: Nixon’s nose on W’s ears, Reagan’s voice-box in a Bush Sr. torso, all bubbling in vats of green goo.)
Frankenstein:
“Good God, what have I done?! This isn’t a monster—it’s a personality sinkhole! Every attempt to refine him seems to amplify the flaws!”
Igor (holding a clipboard):
“Master, I must correct you. He is not one monster. He’s infinite monsters compressed into one orange husk. His flaws are self-replicating—they multiply faster than a reality show spin-off!”
Frankenstein:
“How is that possible?!”
Igor:
“See this? The 'Pettiness' Genome (PG1A) forms a feedback loop with the ‘Ego’ Cortex, creating what scientists now call a ‘Self-Admiring Ouroboros’—a snake eating its own tail...while calling the tail a loser.”
Fractal Flaws: A Guided Tour
(A portal opens, revealing a zoomed-in, surreal exploration of Trump’s personality. Frankenstein and Igor are sucked into the Trump Fractal Universe™.)
- Level 1: Petty Spite Planetoid(They land on a barren orange wasteland where statues of former allies are being knocked over by tiny Trump avatars in golden bulldozers.)Trump Avatar (cackling):“They didn’t say nice things about me! SAD!”
- Level 2: Vanity Canyon(They fall into a canyon filled with mirrors, all reflecting Trump in various states of smugness.)Igor:“Master, each reflection believes it’s the real Trump!”One Reflection Trump (flexing poorly):“I’m the best reflection. The others? Fake reflections!”
- Level 3: Twitter Abyss(They float in a black void filled with glowing blue tweets that orbit like angry fireflies.)Igor (dodging a tweet):“CAUTION: These insults ricochet! That one just called me ‘a low-energy hunchback!’”Frankenstein:“He’s even punching down on fictional characters!”Igor:“Master, his cruelty is so pure it’s achieved sentience. I think the tweets are breeding!”
- Level 4: Gaffe Carnival(They stumble into a twisted carnival with attractions like “Covfefe Coaster” and “Mispronunciation Maze.” A game booth invites people to throw darts at “Words Trump Has Butchered.”)Carnival Barker Trump (gesturing wildly):“Nobody mispronounces better than me. Nobody! Believe me, the best!”
Back in the Lab: Chaos Erupts
(Frankenstein and Igor are spat back into the lab, now on fire because Trump has replaced the cooling system with tanning beds.)
Trump (lounging in full kingly regalia):
“This place? A disaster. Worst lab ever. But me? I’m tremendous. Everyone says so. Even Igor—great guy, totally underappreciated.”
Frankenstein (grabbing Igor):
“We have to undo this abomination!”
Igor:
“But how, Master? His flaws are impervious to logic or decency!”
Frankenstein:
“Simple: we appeal to his ego. We tell him the ‘best monster’ is one that quietly retires to Mar-a-Lago!”
Trump (overhearing):
“Retire? Quiet? FAKE NEWS. I’m the best at being loud! Tremendous volume! In fact, I’ll build a louder me—Frankenstein 2.0!”
(Cut to Frankenstein, who facepalms so hard his hand breaks through reality itself, pulling the credits down to end the scene.)
