Scenario: Frank Costanza vs. Daleks at the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV)
Frank has gone to the DMV to renew his driver’s license, and in a bizarre twist of bureaucratic fate, the Daleks have been hired as DMV employees. Frank, naturally, is already in a foul mood because he’s been waiting in line for hours, only to be told he’s in the wrong line by none other than Frigidor Dalek (the surrealist).
Frank: (yelling) “What kind of operation are you running here?! A line so slow, I’ve seen glaciers with more urgency than this!”
Frigidor Dalek: (unfazed, in monotone) “YOU ARE IN-EFFICIENT. HUMANS ARE ALWAYS IN-EFFICIENT. PLEASE PROCEED TO THE CORRECT LINE. FAILURE TO COMPLY WILL RESULT IN EXTER-MIN-ATION.”
Frank: (leaning in, incredulous) “Extermination?! Oh, yeah, that’s your big plan? Take out a guy who’s already dying of boredom in this godforsaken place?”
Meanwhile, Flower Power Dalek floats in, trying to defuse the tension with a flower wreath dangling off one of its plunger arms.
Flower Power Dalek: “PEACE, FRIENDS. WE MUST EMBRACE LOVE, NOT HOSTILITY. PLEASE ACCEPT A COMPLIMENTARY PETUNIA AS WE WORK TO RESOLVE YOUR LICENSE ISSUE.”
Frank: (snapping) “I don’t need a petunia! I need a license so I can drive away from this dump and never look back!”
The scene escalates further when another Dalek rolls in and demands Frank fill out Form 243-B, which Frank refuses on principle.
Frank: “You want me to fill out another form? Why don’t you roll yourself into a scrap heap and form a tin can, you overgrown pepper grinder!”
Dalek: (furious) “YOU WILL SHOW RESPECT TO THE DALEK DMV. INSUBORDINATION WILL NOT BE TOLERATED. ALL HUMANS ARE SUBJECT TO PROTOCOL 723-D—WAITING IN LINE UNTIL DEATH.”
By the end, Frank somehow winds up leading a riot of frustrated DMV patrons against the Daleks, chanting, “No more extermination! No more forms!” The Daleks’ single-minded efficiency clashes hilariously with Frank’s unhinged, sarcastic personality, culminating in chaos as Flower Power Dalek tries to mediate a group hug while Frigidor Dalek sketches the whole scene for a surrealist masterpiece.
Frank: (storming up to the counter) “I’ll tell you one thing, I’ve been here long enough to start thinking this place is a government-sponsored punishment! It’s like a dentist's waiting room, but with fewer good magazines!”
Frigidor Dalek: (looking at Frank’s form with exaggerated disdain) “YOUR LACK OF EFFORT IS NOTED. THIS IS WHY YOU ARE A FAILURE, HUMAN.”
Frank: “I’m a failure? You’re the one with a plunger on your arm, buddy! I’ve seen more useful gadgets in a Swiss Army knife!”
Flower Power Dalek floats in again, attempting to keep the peace by serenading the crowd with a soft rendition of "Imagine" by John Lennon, but it’s hard to take a Dalek singing peace songs seriously. The whole crowd glares in confusion.
Flower Power Dalek: (with exaggerated sincerity) “PEACE... LOVE... LICENSES WITHOUT WAITING... DO YOU NOT FEEL THE VIBES, FRIENDS?”
Frank: (deadpan, staring at the Dalek) “Vibes? Oh, please. I’ve had more coherent conversations with my sock drawer. This whole place is a circus, and you’re the main attraction—except you’re not funny, and you don’t have cotton candy!”
Frigidor Dalek: (interrupting, completely missing the sarcasm) “THE JOKE IS ON YOU, HUMAN. I WILL HAVE THE LAST LAUGH WHEN I EXTERMINATE YOUR ATTEMPT AT HUMOUR. PLEASE PROCEED TO YOUR FINAL DESTINATION…THE WAITING ROOM OF DESPAIR.”
Frank: “Oh, I’m already there, pal. You think your whole ‘extermination’ schtick is scary? You’re about as terrifying as my wife’s meatloaf on a bad day!”
Flower Power Dalek: “NEGATIVE EMOTIONS ARE HARMFUL TO THE COSMIC FLOW OF ENERGY. YOU MUST CALM YOURSELF, HUMAN. TRY MY SPECIAL REIKI MASSAGE!”
Frank: (looking at Flower Power Dalek incredulously) “Reiki massage? Lady, I’ve been dealing with more back pain from sitting than I have from anything in this lifetime. Just give me the damn form, so I can escape this place before I start throwing punches like it’s a boxing match!”
Flower Power Dalek: (as it attempts to defuse the situation with an increasingly perplexed smile) “WE MUST ALL EMBRACE LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING. TO EXTERMINATE IS TO ESCAPE COSMIC HARMONY—PLEASE, HUMAN, ACCEPT A COMPLIMENTARY BLOOMING ROSE.”
Frank: “I’m done. I’m just done. If I have to sit through one more flower arrangement or hear ‘extermination’ one more time, I’ll start screaming like a banshee in a sauna. Just give me my license and let me out of here!”
