ACT II: Trump Multiverse of Madness
(After Frankenstein’s desperate attempt to rein in Trump 1.0 fails, Trump decides to build not one, but infinite Trumps to prove he’s the greatest. Enter the Trump Multiverse—a kaleidoscopic nightmare where every variant is somehow even worse.)
Scene: The Hall of Infinite Trumps
(Frankenstein and Igor wander through a glittering, golden palace where each room houses a different Trump variant. Every surface, including the floor, is an LED screen broadcasting campaign rallies, beauty pageants, and golf swings.)
Frankenstein:
“Igor, this must be the Trump Multiverse! Each variant... somehow more insufferable than the last!”
Igor (holding a Geiger counter):
“Master, the sheer volume of self-congratulation in here is off the charts! My ears are ringing with phrases like ‘tremendous,’ ‘best ever,’ and ‘nobody knew!’”
Room 1: “Golf Course Trump”
(A Trump wearing plaid golf pants lounges on a throne made of broken nine irons. Behind him, golden statues of himself hold plaques inscribed with fake hole-in-one scores.)
Golf Trump (pointing at Frankenstein):
“You—scientist guy! Wanna see the greatest golf shot ever? I didn’t even need to swing! The ball just knew I was the best and went in!”
Frankenstein:
“Astounding. Gravity itself seems to favour you.”
Golf Trump:
“Gravity? Overrated. I control it. People say I have the best gravity.”
Room 2: “Twitter Trump Prime”
(A Trump with glowing blue hair sits at a colossal phone that looks suspiciously like a nuclear launch console. Tweets are being fired into the multiverse at light speed.)
Igor (ducking):
“Master, the tweets! They’re forming black holes of stupidity!”
Twitter Trump (typing):
“Covfefe. Greatest word ever. Everyone’s saying it. Merriam-Webster begged me to define it, but I said, ‘NO! You don’t deserve it!’”
(A nearby black hole starts sucking in random concepts: facts, compassion, grammar rules.)
Room 3: “Reality TV Trump”
(This Trump is surrounded by cardboard cut-outs of Ivanka, Melania, and Jared, all holding roses like a never-ending Bachelor finale.)
Reality Trump (to Frankenstein):
“Listen, Doc, you’re fired. Unless… you’re here to be my apprentice?”
Frankenstein:
“Apprentice? I am a scientist!”
Reality Trump:
“Same thing. Now, what’s your tragic backstory? Got one? Everyone loves those.”
Igor (whispering):
“Master, he’s trying to edit your life into a sob story for ratings!”
Frankenstein (shouting):
“My life is NOT content!”
Reality Trump (smirking):
“Everything’s content, baby. Roll credits!”
The Climactic Showdown: Enter “Mega-Trump”
(In the final room, all the variants fuse together into Mega-Trump, a golden, 50-foot-tall monstrosity powered by infinite ego and 24/7 cable news coverage.)
Mega-Trump (roaring):
“I am the ULTIMATE WINNER! I can’t lose! Even losing is winning if I say it is!”
Frankenstein (clutching his head):
“This... this is too much! How can one entity be so endlessly self-absorbed?!”
Igor (holding up a mirror):
“Master! Use this—his one weakness!”
Frankenstein:
“A mirror?”
Igor:
“No, not just any mirror. A funhouse mirror!”
(Igor holds up a warped funhouse mirror that distorts Mega-Trump’s appearance, making him look ridiculous.)
Mega-Trump (staggering):
“No! This can’t be me! I’m yuge and perfect! This makes my hands look even smaller! FAKE MIRROR!”
(Mega-Trump implodes in a dazzling explosion of orange confetti, leaving only a single golden comb spinning on the floor.)
Epilogue: Back in the Lab
(Frankenstein and Igor return, bruised but triumphant. The lab is eerily quiet, except for the distant sound of tweets echoing in the void.)
Frankenstein (collapsing into a chair):
“Never again, Igor. Never. Again.”
Igor (smiling):
“Master, at least we’ve learned one thing.”
Frankenstein:
“What’s that?”
Igor:
“Sometimes, the monster isn’t in the lab. The monster... is on social media.”
(Cue dramatic music as the screen fades to black, but not before the comb twitches ominously, hinting at a sequel.)
