Scene: Reality TV Prison Chaos
Setting: A shabby, over-the-top reality TV prison set with clichéd barred windows, a cafeteria serving suspiciously grey food, and a common area with mismatched furniture. All contestants wear striped prison uniforms. A camera crew follows their every move.
Characters:
Donald – A sly, mischievous orangutan who communicates through exaggerated gestures and cheeky grunts.
Frank Costanza – Explosively irritable and always ready to assert his dominance.
Estelle Costanza – Frank’s nagging wife, perpetually unimpressed.
George Costanza – Neurotic and paranoid, convinced everyone is conspiring against him.
Veritas-9000 – An overly literal AI mounted on the wall, judging everything with condescending precision.
The Absurdist – A surrealist inmate who turns every situation into a philosophical farce.
Penguin Sidekick – The Absurdist’s laughing companion, chiming in with occasional absurd commentary.
Opening Scene: The cafeteria. Donald is perched on a table, clutching a banana and watching the chaos unfold. Frank is mid-rant.
Frank: (pointing at Donald) That orangutan! He’s been stealing my jello cups for three days! THREE DAYS! I’ve had enough! We need rules! Order! Civilisation!
Veritas-9000: (flatly) Correction: The jello cups in question are communal property. Your assertion of ownership is both baseless and irrational.
Frank: (turning to the wall-mounted AI) Oh, you think you’re so smart! I’ll show you baseless! I’ll rip you off that wall and make you into a toaster!
Donald: (grunts mockingly and peels the banana dramatically)
Estelle: Frank, will you calm down? It’s a banana. Let the monkey have it. Besides, you don’t even like bananas!
Frank: (veins bulging) It’s not about the banana, Estelle! It’s about principle!
George: (paranoid) Oh, sure. Everyone focus on the banana. Meanwhile, I’m the only one who sees the big picture. (leans in conspiratorially) This whole setup is rigged. They want us to fight so the ratings go up!
The Absurdist: (stroking his chin) And is it not true that in this so-called prison, we are all inmates of perception? Donald’s banana is but a symbol of liberation, its peeling an act of existential rebellion.
Penguin Sidekick: (laughing uproariously) “Existential rebellion!” Priceless! The banana’s a metaphor, George!
George: (snapping) Oh, yeah? What’s the metaphor for me not having any jello, huh? I’ll tell you what it is: oppression!
Veritas-9000: (deadpan) False equivalence detected. The absence of jello cannot be reasonably construed as systemic oppression.
Frank: (fuming) Shut up, you talking tin can! You don’t know anything about struggle! I’ve been fighting for survival since I was born! And now I’m losing to a monkey!
Donald: (blows a raspberry and tosses the banana peel onto Frank’s head)
Estelle: (shrill) FRANK! Get a grip! You’re embarrassing me in front of the orangutan!
The Absurdist: (turning to the camera crew) Ladies and gentlemen, behold! A microcosm of modern society. The orangutan reigns supreme, the human ego crumbles, and the AI enforces a sterile utopia. Is this not art?
Penguin Sidekick: (laughing) Art? It’s a banana peel slapstick routine with a side of existential crisis!
Later Scene: Recreation yard. Frank, still fuming, attempts to rally the inmates for an “uprising.” Donald sits nearby, balancing a stolen prison guard’s hat on his head.
Frank: (to the group) We’ve got to take control of this place! First, we deal with the orangutan. Then, the AI! Who’s with me?
George: (skeptical) And what’s the plan, Dad? Wrestle the monkey? Hack the robot? We’re in striped pyjamas, not Mission Impossible!
Donald: (puts on the guard’s hat and salutes mockingly)
Veritas-9000: (interjecting) Observation: The probability of your uprising succeeding is statistically negligible. Resistance is inadvisable.
The Absurdist: (wielding a spoon like a sword) I, for one, embrace the absurdity of our condition. Let us overthrow the system using only our imaginations and this mighty utensil!
Penguin Sidekick: (laughing hysterically) A spoon? Against an orangutan? I’m getting popcorn for this!
Estelle: (to Frank) I’m going back to my cell. Let me know when your rebellion gets a Yelp review.
Frank: (gritting his teeth) Fine! Go! But don’t come crawling back when I’m running this place!
Donald: (leans back, peels another banana, and grins as the camera zooms in on his triumphant expression)
Closing Shot: A montage of escalating antics—Frank chasing Donald through the cafeteria, The Absurdist leading a nonsensical “freedom march” around the yard, George hoarding jello cups in his cell, and Veritas-9000 narrating the madness with relentless precision. The scene ends with Donald dangling from the rafters, holding the prison keys, as the other contestants argue below.
Title Card: “Prison Pandemonium: Who Will Survive the Chaos?”
